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well I'm pretty much screwed now as usually happens when I start to think life can get better for me, but this time it's on a magnitude that I've never experienced before. I lost my wallet on the bus which in and of itself is not a major thing, at least you'd think so, cards can be replaced and whatnot and I cancelled my bank card and my credit card. Now I'm finding out how screwed I am, apparently I need ID to get new ID, and I need money to get that ID, but I need ID so I can get to my money, so hopefully anyone reading this can see the vicious cycle that the canadian government has put me through. So I can't cash my cheques, I can't get new ID, basically I have no way to prove I'm me unless I have proof that I'm me which I don't have, which puts me up the creek without a paddle.

I need to get that ID soon so I can get a criminal record check so I can move into my new place. Right now I've basically given up on hope, and feel kinda dead inside, all there is, is anger and rage at my situation in life and how whenever it starts to seem better things just kick me in the nuts and make it worse than it started. It just feels like whenever things are coming together they just fall apart and no one really cares, and then I get made fun of all the time on top of that, which just makes me even more angry. All I feel is anger in my chest tight and hard like I want to hurt people and ruin their happiness like mine is always being ruined. I'm at my friends right now and I'm finding it hard not to hit him for making fun of me for my play in Halo. I just want to tear someone's world away, to ruin their happiness, to make them feel the despair that life always forces upon me.

I don't know, I'm lost right now and I have no hope, and I doubt I ever will again.
-Jay