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Life Or Death? You Choose. |
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Everyone’s always telling me that I’m dull. I’m not known for what I do because I don’t do anything. Everyone is always so eerie around me. I’m not dead, am I? I still have skin. I can breathe perfectly fine. What’s wrong with me then?! Is it because of what happened? Is it because they’re gone? Why do they have to be around to make people like me? I’m not them and they’re not me. I want someone to like me for me, to see this 14-year-old girl for who she really is. Not because she has a great family, but because she’s real.
I’m different from everyone else because I have no family. I’m alone. Yes, I do have aunts and uncles, a grandma and a grandpa, but I don’t have a mother or a father. They’re gone and they’re never coming back. They disappeared on my fourteenth birthday. I’ve been alone ever since. I have a theory that my other family assumes I’m dead. They probably think I perished with the others. I’m still here, but they don’t need to know this. I’m happy being a secret. I’m happy being alone. I’m sure of this.
My name is Ray, which is short for Rayne. I feel connected to my name – proud to have it – even though I have no idea how or why I received it. I’m an only child and I wander the world on my own. My whole life has been full of mockery. The people that DO know me, they laugh at me. I’ve gotten used to it, even though it sometimes brings me down. I don’t need anybody to guide me down the right paths. I don’t need a leader. The whole world is my path and I only have one. There is no other path for me to take. The leader is me. I lead my own life and no one tells me otherwise.
Well. I thought my life was somewhat perfect until it happened. I was walking along a deserted sidewalk when I heard someone walking toward me. I jumped behind a dumpster and watched closely. It was a group of teenage guys who seemed a bit older than me, possibly two or three years. There was one, though, that caught my eye. I don’t know why but I was drawn to him. Do NOT look at the guys. They wouldn’t want to be with you. They’ll throw you away, like all the others would. They’re probably no different from the rest. Being a loner is fine! You’ll find a friend sooner or later! Just wait for it. I thought with a feeling of worry.
I was hidden well in the shadow of the dumpster. Late at night it was, and I was sure he and his friends couldn’t see me. But, he looked in my direction and I saw a smile appear at his lips. He started walking toward my shadow, staring at the place my eyes should’ve been. I closed my eyes and thought. What do I do?! What do I do?! My heart began beating faster than it ever had before. I was under so much pressure that I placed my head into my knees, pretending I’d disappeared. He can’t see me. I’m not here. I’m invisible! I assumed that if I thought about it hard enough, it might come true.
I waited, thinking he’d gone. I realized I was wrong whenI felt something on my shoulder. I slowly opened my eyes and looked over to see a hand there. I gasped and jerked away, my eyes squinting to make out the figure standing in front of me. He backed away and I saw his eyes start to shine in the dim streetlight. I wasn’t used to the foreign company, but he seemed so calm and happy that I just had to smile. For the first time in my young life, I didn’t feel alone. And, it felt, good.
He stood up and bent over, grabbing my cold hand. When his fingers touched mine, I felt a sudden surge of warmth run throughout my body. He gently pulled me up and let go of my hand. I stood there, not sure what to say or do, and waited.
“Are you alone?” He asked in a quiet tone. I nodded silently. I wanted to speak, but the words just wouldn’t come out. “Do you want to hang with me for the rest of the night?” I didn’t know how to reply to such a strange and unheard question. No one had ever wanted to ‘hang’ with me before. I knew that I would have to reply sooner or later. I tried piecing together the right words; the right grammatical structures. It was so complicating, especially under the pressure of a male human. “You want to HANG with ME?!” I had never before answered such an unheard question. “You’re a loner, are you not?” My eyes widened. Yes, I AM a loner Mr. Handsome, but how did you know of such things!? I thought snottily.
I didn’t want to speak to him and leave a bad first impression, so I kept quiet and cute. “Yes. I’m a loner. No one’s here to keep me company; ever. You caught me. But, how did you know?” I wondered. “I have my ways.” He seemed as if he was hiding something, so I got my mental crow bar out. SURE you do. I wish I could shake my fist at you! I know you’re hiding something and I WILL find out! I decided that I’d leave it at that and bring up another subject, but he stopped me and caught me off guard. “You REALLY want to know, don’t you?” I looked around for something to say and, yet again, he beat me to the words. “I’ll tell you. Ummm. Hold on.” He grabbed my hand and started running. I tripped at first but got on track after a few seconds.
He led me to a little park somewhere in town. There was a beautiful tree with buds on each branch. I looked closely and couldn't believe what I was seeing. They're opening! Oh my God! I have never seen anything so beautiful and... he interrupted my thoughts with a touch on the shoulder. He gently pushed and guided me toward the gorgeous and phenomenal tree. He sat down at the base of the tree and looked up. He looked like like a little puppy ready to ounce. I giggled, then gasped as he grabbed my hand and pulled me down next to him.
I watched quietly as he wrapped his warm fingers around my hand and turned it over. He fingered the lines on my palm, mumbling in the process. He's trying to get my mind off of the question, isn't he? I kept watching him and he suddenly looked up. "You still wanna know?" I nodded. "I have a type of disorder; I guess you could call it that. I can, ummm, read your mind." My mouth dropped and his face turned pale. "Are... you... SERIOUS!? Is telepathy even possible!? It must be, consider the fact that YOU'VE been using it all night! This is so awesome!" He stopped my sudden burst of energy with a finger to my lips.
For a moment, I felt his eyes on me. I was busy staring at the tree, watching it's buds open slowly. I completely forgot about his telepathy for the few minutes of silence. Then my mind went from tree to thought. This guy is amazing. What's his name? Whatever it is, I think I like him. Wait. I'm thinking this and he... NO!! I gasped at the thought and looked at him. His smile grew and I noticed a grin finding it's way to my mouth. "My name's Beau. Yours?" I never thought of it. My name was as far away from my mind as my parents' disappearance. "Ummm. Eh. I forgot. Uhhh. Er. I KNOW! RAYNE!" My hand shot up into the air as if I'd just won a game show. "Yeah. That's it." His smile appeared, but this time it was a confused smile. "You forgot your name?" "Yeah. I don't hear it on a daily basis. people don't know it so they don't say it. And, I don't walk around while talking to myself in third person." his confusion was wiped away with my reply.
I watched his facial expression quickly change and knew that he was debating something in his own mind. I kept quiet, listening to him mumble intently. "Rayne. R-A-Y-N-E, right?" I looked up and nodded. "Why?" "No reason. I'm just comparing our names." I was the confused one now. He laughed at the look on my face and began to explain. "Rayne and Beau. B-E-A-U. Kind of like rainbow, only spelled differently." A smile spread across my face and a giggle escaped my lips. "That's so..." my voice dropped and I fell over, the world fading around me.
All I felt, at that moment, was pain. Pain shot through my fingers, climbed it's way up my legs. The one thing that soothed the pain was the wet tear freed from my eye, running slowly down my cheek. The sounds around me were like echoes. I heard the feint sound of beau's voice, calling my name. He picked me up and a little flower from the tree fell and landed in my golden hair. Then, everything was gone and it seemed as if I was falling into a dark void.
I woke up, darkness all around me. My sleeping pattern had changed in the past few weeks; sleeping during the day, exploring at night. I let my eyes adjust to the darkness and sat up. My head was pounding. I pushed the comforter off of my legs, hung my feet over the right side of the bed and slid off. My feet slipped when they hit the floor and I fell on my butt. I sat there for a few seconds, wondering where I was. I got up and slowly walked to the door, trying not to trip over anything in my path. I placed my hand on the door now and quietly opened it. I looked down the moonlit hallway and wondered to myself. Where's Beau? There was an unusually disturbing silence after my thought.
"HERE I AM!" I jumped at the sound of Beau's voice, him standing behind me with a playful grin on his face. He grabbed my trembling hand and wrapped his arms around me. The warmth radiating from his touch almost put me to sleep. "Sorry. I didn't think you'd freak like that." He must've noticed the look of terror in my eyes. I was too warm and, now, tired that I barely heard his apology. I could sense his smile when he pulled me toward the bed, my feet involuntarily walking forward. He gently laid me down, pulling the covers over my shivering body. I opened my eyes, just enough to see him jump off the bed and lay on the floor. I could only hear his breathing now. I rolled over to sneak a glance and what I saw made me scream.
"OH MY GOD! STOP DOING THAT!" I couldn't help but laugh. He'd put his face right next to the bed, so when I rolled over, the first thing I saw was his face, about two inches from mine. I laid there, watching him and him watching me. It was so quiet in that room. I could hardly keep my eyes open, so I slowly closed them, still watching his every move. Once my eyes were completely shut, I felt him grab my hand and for the rest of the night, I knew he was guarding me, keeping me safe while I slept.
My thoughts ran wild during my short slumber. I knew he could see them, yet, I made no attempt to stop. I thought of my family and how I woke up to an empty home on that cold December day. That day was full of depression and sadness. I sat by myself, alone in the kitchen. I lit my own candles and wished a simple wish; to someday find a friend. I never did eat the cake. I left it, for whoever decided to stop by the deserted house.
Thoughts of my parents ran through my mind. I could see them so clearly, remembering all the times I'd spent with them. I thought my parents were great, but now I regret ever thinking that. They just disappeared into thin air and never gave me any sign; not one simple note did they write. I saw their faces, slowly but surely fading from my mind. Beau had then taken their place. From then on, my dreams turned out to be better than the usual.
A few hours later, I opened my eyes and looked over to find Beau staring at me. He still had the same playful grin on his face. "What?" I was confused. He was probably laughing at my bed head. He must've noticed my confused nature because he answered my unspoken question right away. "You were talking in your sleep. You... heh heh... said my name a couple times." My eyes opened as wide as humanly possible and my face turned a bright shade of red. Sort of like the apple from Snow White. I was speechless. What did I say? Please tell me that's all I said! Oh God. WHY ME? He looked at me in a confused - was there more? - sort of way. "My name was the only thing you said. But..." A sigh of relief quickly came out of my mouth, but I knew Beau wanted to know more, so I giggled and looked around for an escape.
 Brittney Beloved TM · Sun Oct 21, 2007 @ 12:07am · 2 Comments |
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