There's a new boy in my life. He's very sweet and dotes on me quite often. He makes me feel like a princess. He treats me better than any other boy has ever treated me. He respects me and can simply enjoy my company.
World: meet Marshall Thorne
*photo taken from the first time he took me out; slice of pizza weights 1.5 lbs*
Marshall and I have been spending lots of time together lately, mostly on the weekends because we live an hour away from each other. He's always very accommodating in every way for me. If I even mention that I'd like something he'll go out of his way to get it for me, be it pocky, pizza, a massage, etc.
This last weekend he gave me butterfly kisses, so I played Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle for him. It's a song about a father's love for his daughter as she grows into a woman and finally gets married. Throughout her life she and her father exchange butterfly kisses, always at important moments in her life.
My biological father took a hint from this song and started something similar with me. He would give me butterfly kisses, and we even made that song ours in a way. I saw it as a way to reinforce a fragile relationship with a man that was never a part of my life, and he saw it as another way control another person in his life.
I don't remember the last time we gave each other butterfly kisses, and I'm glad about that. The relationship I had with him was a sham. It was fake and transparent. There was nothing to it. I'm glad I know that now.
Marshall doesn't know this. All he knows is that I played the song for him, and it's probably special to me in some way. I almost started crying during the song. Part of me still wants to be "daddy's little girl," but I another part of me knows that I can't live my life based on a false assumption that daddy will always be there for me.
I've been keeping lots of things from Marshall, and he knows it. He's willing to wait for me to tell him. He wants to help me sort through my problems.
I don't know where I was wanting to go with this entry, but I'll call it quits here.
 vafalla · Tue Feb 05, 2008 @ 08:00pm · 0 Comments |
