Arg... my grandmother is back... she's back two weeks early from where she should be. At my aunt and Uncles house. Mom and i were to have a break this summer from my grandmother. But no those two wanted to go away so the plan gets switched. Lies have been told excuses excuses excuses. I'm very pissed off that this has happened. Same with my mom she is too. and oh once again family wat fair is going to happen... fights arguments I'm involved cause one i have to live it and two i get into it cause i get so bloody fed up. and I guess cause i look for a fight some times. My grandmother has been home since i think friday maybe saturday and oh yay.. Back to square one and so close to school.. I'm emotionally unstable and insanity is at a bad point.. which is not good. for no one... Now see what i've been threw, and what my family has been threw well basicly my mom and I for the past five years is probally nothing to complain about to other kids and parents who ahve suffered lot longer with alot worst. And that's fair enough. Though on one note. Different people are in different situations in life that others aren't and it seems they may have it worse then one person but really they basicly feel the same cause for them that's really hard and they can't handle it.. Like me I can't handle taking care of my grandmother, getting yelled at, though alot od the time i do deserve it but not to the lengths it can get. My mom is basicly going backwards to another emotional break down.. I think i'm close to one... I think but i highly doubt it and hope not. Just very overly emotionally stressed and geting drained... a few days ago, and people who've seen me a few days ago could tell that i was in more the light side, happy content de-stressed. I bet if they talk to me on msn or saw me they see how dark and gloomy i've become once again... and the burning is back... I made a promise I wouldn't and I was wanting to break it a day or two before but didn't cause i didn't feel like it was needed but an hour ago... when i was... well listening to music and thinking into things that one should not feel i started feeling the burning. One burning that I hate what, feels so disgusting thought luckily it was mild but made me want to break that one promise i made... I want to keep that promise but I don't know how stronge i can be... i don't know..
-sighs-
I have to thank my friends and the one i love, cause if i didn't have them in my life i don't know how i would survive in times like these. To be able to help my mom with her problems.. and to what i have been told what i've been dragged into by this family is something that a 16 kid shouldn't have to go threw... and it's true...
But again if I didn't have the one I love and my friends I think I would lose the good side of my insanity.. and be in a place for the crazy people.
 Rikku42 · Mon Aug 07, 2006 @ 01:14pm · 0 Comments |
