Well from friday to monday I had a lovely time. Well friday wasn't bad but it was the start. I got upset with my bf and thought I made him feel bad so i sent a sorry e-mail (cause it was late at night and thats all i could do) asking him to phone me but he didn't so I dunno if he was mad at me or such and hadn't come on in the three days so I'm thinking something bad happened, he's pissed at me, he's super tired due to work/busy, or his computer died. If it was any of those I was hoping it was the two last ones which it ended up being the second to last one but back to saterday. I was possibly going out to my friends place who lives a bit far. But my mom wasn't really wanting to drive so all in all we ended up in a huge fight she took something I said the wrong way, had really hurt feelings was yelling at me and said some mean things that hurt my feelings cause I was trying to tell her what I really ment but she was all no i'm just covering up because I was caught which wasn't the case. Anyways bought the time she went out we had sort of sorted things out. But just soon afterwards I have a huge fight with my bestfriend and I end up getting a dager to my heart for what we discover. I'm still upset on it but talking to her since right now she's going through a tough time caue her beloved cat is dieing (which is sad ;-; ). so sunday was better had bit of an arguement but that was mainly it. Though monday comes around I get teased by some of my friends one of my guy friends grabbed my a** -_- only my girl friends can do that! besides my boyfriend (of course). But I delt with the two with butter. Though I had cooking and thats "SO" much fun with my group. I stayed after school to finish out project, since it's due monday for the competition the class is in. Had to walk to the bus stop in the dark and yippie it's so freaken creepy walking and just before that this teacher dude asks me my name and socials teacher and i don't know why he needed it.
but anyways later my mom phones she talks with me i tell her she said some mean things and then I finally snap saying I can't handle getting yelled at almost every day and some days twice. She felt guilty and said that i could go live with my friend but got devestated that I was even thinking on it but I was because if I one day turned around on her and said well maybe i should have taken your offer. That be mean and cruel and I didn't want to use that against her if i got so pissed off and said that. but over all I wanted to stay I just wanted less of getting yelled at. so we fought a bit and resolved it but sunday and monday night two nights straight I haven't been able to get to sleep til 2 am so this might be night number three.
Though I did finally get to talk to my bf, however near the end I dunno I felt like he wasn't all that interested in talking with me cause he wasn't interested in what we were talking about. Well I was.. I said I leave him alone if he was busy he said no, and I said it a few times and he said no it's not nessicary or no. So I am still staying taking the risk of not getting my homework done that I need to get done and have a bed time due time which I am passing so that I can talk to him.. but it's like it doesn't matter and anything I say some how come back to bite me in the a**. It's just it seems that way to me, I dunno.. maybe he doesn't and thats probally and most likely all my fault and for reasons it be. -sighs- I don't know what to do, because I end up feeling lonely and I hate being lonely when i'm around people, I rather be lonely when I'm not with people... but I guess it doesn't matter I dunno.. I just want to stop my speal of ranting raving complaining whatever it is you want to call it.
Those who read, I thank you. And hope you don't think I'm some sort of whiny pansy baby type thing. But I wouldn't blame you and i'll suck it up if you do.
 Rikku42 · Wed Nov 22, 2006 @ 08:12am · 0 Comments |
