-sighs- I hate this I hate it very much. can't read my love's emotions. some times he's fine and sounds fine other times he sounds fine but isn't and I don't want to bug him about it. and when he's pissed off but seems fine I just don't want to accuse him if I feel offended. I mean we had a fightish tonight and he was pissed off I could tell by what i seem to perseve as sarcasim in what he said and just some things he said. I just got offended that he would say he had to go right after something I said and I felt we hadn't fully delt with. And sad thing is thats my stupidity or something like that. Truth be told he did too have to leave it just go to a point where he seemed still mad and just was still saying goodnight and that he loved me that I got more upset on that and ended up hurting him. I feel really badly, and horrible and i was trying to say something but he just left before i could think of the right words to say so that I didn't end up saying something that would upset him more since i screw my words up.
And this would have happened if I just kept my feelings to myself.. if I hadn't mentioned that i felt that I still don't get to talk to him much with the time we do talk cause he still is busy, and the time we do talk is like an hour hour and a half cause he stays up long enough to try. and as much as i want to talk to him as much as i can he said he would cut out some of the things he likes to do(something like that) and I don't want him to do that, I don't want him to cut into the things he likes to do just so he can talk to me more. That's not fair. That's not fair to him at all.
I feel like bashing my head into the wall several hundred times. Or just crying myself to sleep or until I can't any more, I feel very badly that I hurt him and being upset from before doesn't help. and right now i must leave so i will edit this later just in case my teddie ends up reading this.
((Edited, for reasons))
 Rikku42 · Thu Jun 08, 2006 @ 07:29am · 0 Comments |
