Okay playing with tera cards is not a good idea. Least for me in my life.
One said that something would change my life and well I thought it already happened but I was wrong and I think what happened today is what it is. I don't know for sure.
My mom is having another breakdown, and we got into a fight a big fight. She's losing it so badly that she ended up kicking me cause I just got frustrated at her. To me I should have been pissed off I was but I should have ripped her head off for it. Well so to speak and maybe not like that. But I didn't cause she ended up hurting herself more and she's crying so much. I felt badly and i know me getting upset and all that isn't what she needed and I'm not very good at comforting.
I try to tell the truth and I was also not very nice even if I tried to sound nice and be it. I'm trying to be there for her. And I'm trying to say things I just was trying to help and I fail at doing it. But I'm only sixteen years old. I can only do so much and I'm trying to be there and I just lose it and I start badgering her and getting mad and yelling back. Anyways when she was crying and wanted me to leave at certain points I just try and hug her and comfort her. I got threw to her, and really it's this house it makes you feel horrible.
At one point I loved being in it and never wanting to leave it but now I just want to get away from it. I knew my mother needed to get out of the house for a while, though she was to histerical to even drive so I needed to get her to calm down and enough were she just had to suck it up long enough to be even figh meters away. But she would start crying again because she felt so badly that I had to be put threw this. I don't care especially if my mom is on the brink where mental institutes might have to take her away.
I will deal with it and put up with it. I think the best thing is if we move out and live some where else. But my mom feels even more badly because then we can't go to Disney land this christmas and she had been promising to take me and that we set the date. But I rather wait another year or two to go if it means my mom doesn't kill herself trying to live in this condition, just so we can go I rather she be feeling more better about herself and enjoy Disnyland together.
I just want my mom to be happy, instead of getting closer and closer to be ended up in her grave.
 Rikku42 · Sun May 28, 2006 @ 01:09am · 0 Comments |
