Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

One phrase about sums me up right now: I worry too much. I care too much. If I didn't care about whether or not my friends were happy, I would not be having this problem, but here I am, freaking out about one who sounds nearly suicidal and another one who's sounding weird as well, though not depressed. Ugh, why can't I just not give a crap? I know I look perky and happy a lot, but I mean, I am generally that way, but omg, my friends! I don't want them to be all sunshine and rainbows all the time, but c'mon. Life doesn't always suck all the time. There's little pieces to be happy about and, please, please, please find something to be happy about. I'm not mad at you all. I just love you all so much. I want you to be happy, regardless of what that means for everyone else. You're all amazing and deserve to be happy. I miss your smiles. They're so beautiful when they're real. Don't fake it for me, just look for something that's worth smiling about. The sun's out. You're not dead. You're friends still care about you. Some people still love you so much they'd die for you. That's not something to treat lightly. I'm sorry for the hell in everyone's lives, I really am, but you're not doing yourself or anyone else (living or dead) any good by being stupid, making stupid decisions, and being miserable. The pains will pass. They'll pass faster if you talk it out with someone who cares more about you then you'll ever know and they'll pass faster if you force yourself to see the everyday miracles we've become accustomed to. I love you all. Please find reasons to be happy. heart