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Today at school, they called all the Juniors into the media center so that these three people could talk to us, since prom's coming up. The main one that struck me was the second lady. The main subject was what happens when people make stupid decisions. She's a funeral director and embalmer for some funeral home, and she basically walked us through the steps that she would go through if it was one of us that she was preparing for a funeral. It made me cry. There were a few main parts that made me cry.

She talked about how after our parents had gone through our closets to find what clothes that we would be buried in, they'd be leaving our bedroom, thinking nothing else could be worse than this. But then, our mother would see something out of the corner of her eye. Maybe a ball glove, or a loved stuff animal. And she would reach for it, and her hand would be shaking, as if afraid that it too would disappear, and she would pick it up and hold it tightly to her chest and take it to the funeral home too. I started crying, because I know that Mom would do that.

Then she talked about how she would take our parents and show them all the coffins so they could pick out which one they would like for us. She said it would be this point where the rock of your family, your father, who's usually so tough and calm, would break down and start crying. I was talking to Rachel later about that part and she said she was crying because she could see her dad standing in the middle of all those coffins, just crying. And that's exactly how I felt.

And then she was talking about the viewing, how our parents would be thinking "I can't go through with this, I can't do this." and she would tell them that she'd get them through it, and it'd be ok. And everything's going good during the viewing. People come up and offer their condolences, and everything's fine. Until your best friend comes up and just stands there, silent and shocked and wondering the same thing they are. "Why...? How could this happen...?" I started bawling, because I thought of Elisha and Emmy. I can't bear to think of what I would do if I lost one of them, and I don't want to think about them losing me. But everything she talked about, I could see my parents doing, and that's what made it all the more sad and depressing.

I was telling Daddy about it, and I started crying again, and he even started crying. I told him I hope to God that I never put him and Mom through something like that, because parents should never have to bury their child. I just couldn't stop crying, and he told me that I need to quit thinking about it, and I know I should, but I can't help it. I just don't wanna have to put anyone through anything like that. And he said "Well, you can't tell the Lord not to do something..." And I said, "True, but the whole theme of what they were talking about was bad choices, so at least I have a say over that part of it."

But yeah, I'll shut up now before I start crying again. ~_~ Ja ne.

*~Skye~*