Preferred: ONE FEMALE RELATIVE TO THE FAMILY.
So... sweatdrop
Mom was talking on the phone with her youngest brother-my uncle Chuy (The one who inspired me to teach myself to play the piano, and also loved to scare the living crap out of me throughout my early childhool. @_@; Is that why I'm so desensitized to most movies in the horror genre today? Not that it's impossible to scare me... I just have very belated reactions now. It's like I've taken to putting off my fear of a situation for just a few seconds for some reason. @_@)...
And he's got a proposition for me... *sweatdrop*
I love my home, I love... my maternal family... and my friends... and my home land (In this case, being California. XD) which is why I wouldn't want to leave... but... this 'job' will have me away from home a couple states away for who knows how long? I mean, I always thought that I'd wind up going to Monterey Uni at the farthest from home. @_@;
Out of state? I... really don't know...
I'd like to, but I don't want to be any further away from my friends than I feel I have to be.
At the same time, I feel like those ties are useless to me.
Don't get me wrong: I love my family and friends more than anything in the world!
However... I've found that it's extremely easy to detach myself from people...
It's scary, it's so easy... but I can do it... so if I were to do this, then I would be relying on that ability to carry me through.
Besides, it's not like I'd be totally away from internet access, right? And, once I feel I've saved up a specific amount of money, I'll allow my inner Jew to fall away and get into my spend-thrifty habits, while allowing my Jew to watch over my Spend-Thrift. XD
My heart's beating fast... I could do this. I really could... I don't know if I'd be a terribly good influence on the children, but the girls are both young and old. They're around three and five right now, I think-about the same ages as Kayla and Junior ("Nooo! FWANSHIIISCOOO!" XD Adorable... Truly... He just started school, by the way. n_n) are right now. I just hope I'm a good enough baby sitter.
I could do this. I really could... I just hope Chicago's fun to walk around in at least, for when I get bored. @_@;
And safe enough to do so in... @_@;
I've had enough of weird middle aged fat white ladies shouting obscenities and crude implications at me from the passenger's side of their husband's black trucks, thank you very much.
I could do this... so why does the idea settle so heavily on my heart...?
... God, when would the ideal departure date be? *sweatdrop*
 Sakura Moonflower · Tue Mar 13, 2007 @ 05:26am · 0 Comments |
