My mother... she tries so hard... this i know is true because if she didn't she wouldn't be working the hours that she does. She has become so foul tempered toward me that I get scared most of the time to talk to her. I mean I know I should toughen up and just say "hey mom.. I'm almost out of here.. don't make my last year a year that makes me never want to see you again.." but I can't..
I'm a coward after these years and it hurts so bad to realized that all that I've been through has amounted to notthing but pain and sorrow for my whole familly. The most embarasing thing in my life..was when I finally figured out that my mom told everyone in my family what happened eek I could have lived with out that... I mean...dang all of those people!.... I was in a total case of dissmay.. infact I still am!
As you should know, I'm 17 now.. my birthday was on November 7th! Go me! yay!...*sigh*.. it was ok.. I mean.. there wasn't to much fighting then so I should be thank ful... My mother bought me this cool looking red dress from hot topic and my neighbor whom I babysit for bought me some cool hello kitty things. A cool stuffed animal hello kitty, a stationary kity, a key chain, and a photo album of hello kitty! I love hello kitty...
Chris... I should spend more time on him... The most wonderful person in my entier life... He bough me a hello kitty blanket heart 3nodding heart wich I wrap myself up in when ever I feel he's been gone to long.. like at work>.> I try not to be too greedy with him, knowing his past and all and accepting his was and his friends. I understand that he's not like me and can't look to a little box for companionship when ever he gets lonely, he needs real human interaction.. and he can't be with just one person ALL the time.. so I let him go hang out with his friends..*nods*.. I think it's cool that way.
I should talk about my little sister as well huh? Marcellette...the most annoying person in my entier life.. But she's just the company I need when ever I get too lonely I look to her for comfert. I mean even if it's just a simple yell to get her away from me.. I need it. Wierd no? how I have to be around SOMEONE constantly? I mean .. it doesn't even have to be someone significant.. just.. a person.. confused
I am dreading today.. my mom doesn't have to go to work.. wich means she will be on my case untill I pass out.. wich means that I need to wright this entry before my mother wakes up.. phew stressed
I think I'll put a link on my website to here so that people who want to view my journal ther..(and belive me I have been getting them bugging me) can view it here ^-^
 Gothic Alice · Thu Dec 23, 2004 @ 08:08pm · 0 Comments |
