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can't keep you out
I don't know what to do.
I try to keep you out,
Like everyone else.
I try to lock the doors,
And hide behind my walls.
But somehow, you break in.
You unlock the door,
And see into my very soul.
I let you in so willingly,
Only for you to cause me more pain.
Don't you see,
What it's like to hide all your life?
My smile is my mask,
My comfort,
And my shelter.
And yet, you tear all that down,
And expose me to the world.
When will you stop?
When will you understand
my need to hide?
All you cause me is pain,
But now that I've let you in,
I can't push you out.
I feel empty without
The pain you give me,
For that pain is all I am now.
I wish I could keep you out,
But you see into my soul,
Past the smiles and the laughter.
You see the real me,
Something that no one has done before.
I try to keep you out,
But it's too late.
I gave you the key,
And I can't change the lock.
Pain
How can I erase this pain that has been building up for so long?
As long as I'm near you this pain cannot be forgotten.
But how can I leave you? The one true friend I've ever had?
I sit here, silently, covering my pain, hiding away all the devastation you I've given me.
As that pain is pushed down, the anger you've given me is forced upwards.
Higher and higher the anger rises, until it breaks free from my captive hold.
You see that anger and cower away.
But what else can be done? If you see that anger, you shut down.
But if you see the pain you've caused, you are hurt and beg forgiveness.
I cannot hurt you; you are too dear to me.
So I release my iron grip on the anger, lest in overwhelm me.
And yet, though the anger is released, the pain stays deep inside me.
Someday it will overwhelm me, and I will drown in unshed tears and hidden misery.
But for now, I am trying to find a way to erase this pain;
This pain that you have caused.
 [[princess chii]] · Fri Jun 09, 2006 @ 03:41am · 0 Comments |
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![[[princess chii]]](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/b0/df/5324006338dfb0.png?t=1195709456_6.00_11 "[[princess chii]]")
