♫♫
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet...
Here I am, sitting on a couch, shaking from what I'd like to think is the cold. An hour's drive away is where she's at. It's just one of those things right now. I can't even really think straight. I mean, for the past six months, I've wanted nothing but this opportunity to see the girl who means more than the world to me. Now, I know she doesn't even want to see me. It's really depressing, y'know. It'd be like your mum saying she didn't want to see you.
I think the hardest part for me is this ring. It's just another physical reminder of how I screwed up everything. I've got enough emotional scars, and this ring doesn't help at all. Really, I can't figure out why I even got it anymore. And I'm not second guessing my feelings, still. I'm just saying, 'Why not a necklace? Why not a bracelet?' I mean, people always seem to think a ring means something big. But it's just a Christmas gift for the girl of my dream. It's nothing but an 'I love you' with a price tag, really. It's not about the gold, or the diamond. It's about the love behind it.
That's why I can't give her the ring, though.
I honestly would rather just walk away from this, but why do that? Why lose my best friend in the world? I just honestly don't think I can go on thinking about what I lost. I mean, I'm sick and tired of people telling me that what I feel isn't love. Even Raven didn't think I felt love. But I've only felt this once before. It's always been just wanting someone for a long time. Now, I don't want just someone. I want to be with her. Even though... I doubt she'll ever want to be with me.
I think the hardest part for me is this ring. It's just another physical reminder of how I screwed up everything. I've got enough emotional scars, and this ring doesn't help at all. Really, I can't figure out why I even got it anymore. And I'm not second guessing my feelings, still. I'm just saying, 'Why not a necklace? Why not a bracelet?' I mean, people always seem to think a ring means something big. But it's just a Christmas gift for the girl of my dream. It's nothing but an 'I love you' with a price tag, really. It's not about the gold, or the diamond. It's about the love behind it.
That's why I can't give her the ring, though.
I honestly would rather just walk away from this, but why do that? Why lose my best friend in the world? I just honestly don't think I can go on thinking about what I lost. I mean, I'm sick and tired of people telling me that what I feel isn't love. Even Raven didn't think I felt love. But I've only felt this once before. It's always been just wanting someone for a long time. Now, I don't want just someone. I want to be with her. Even though... I doubt she'll ever want to be with me.
... a pawn and a king.
♫♫
