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And why I hate going out with someone now.

I still remember when I was going out with my ex, I was.. crazy in love. I was blinded by him, I didn't really know what I was doing. I did crazy s**t. I wanted to slap my old self for just being plain stupid. I should have ended it a long time ago. Sometimes I think, 'what the ******** was I doing to myself?' And then I'm glad that I ended it before it got even worse.

Those nights when you lay in your bed and you're bawling your eyes out because of one person, I view those as PATHETIC! Don't cry about the guy, care about yourself. Yeah.. easier said than done, right? I always had those nights, not getting sleep, feeling like you want to die.

They say that the good things overrule the bad, but there's still those bad moments. They don't go away. They're more emotionally.. affecting than the good memories. Because good memories.. are just plain good memories. The bad memories could possibly scar you.

And those days when you miss the person and you can only think about them, not anything or anyone else. You shut everyone else off and become a loner. Your grades drop because this person doesn't talk to you. Why should a SINGLE PERSON affect you this way? I try to get up and move on, but I always fall back down.

..and that's why I hate love.

~Vanessa