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	Storytime yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Everything I write in this journal will have something to do with a hilarious character that I made up out of the blue. Since I'm so random, when people get bored, I make stuff up.

Doug decided that he would stalk his former wife. Unnoticeable, he followed her car home. He waited to see someone greet her home. He would have to wait a few more minutes so it wouldn't seem like he was watching the house. So he walked up to the door and rung the doorbell. He thought that mom would come to the door, but dad came instead.

DAD: Can I help you?
DOUG: Um yes, I need to speak with your wife.
DAD: What for?
DOUG: A personal business matter....
DAD: Oh OK... HONEY!!!! SOMEONE WANTS YOU!

Doug really wants her. He made sure he was fully unaware of their conversation and was clearly in another room.

MOM: DOUG??!!
DOUG: !
MOM: What are you doing here?
DOUG: Where's Ami?
MOM: You can't see her!
DOUG: Why not?
MOM: We talked about this...inmyspace.com all sites....
DOUG: Can I spend the day with her? Please?!
MOM: NO!
DOUG: LET ME SEE HER!!!!!!!!!
MOM: Can we talk about this in the house?
DOUG: Okay.

While Doug walked in the house, he saw a girl with bright red hair and chocolaty brown eyes sitting on the floor with a laptop. She looked up at him when he strolled down the hallway.

DOUG: Is that....Ami?
MOM: That's none of your business.
DOUG: It is isn't it? I knew it. She sort of looks like you.
MOM: She looks like you too.
DOUG: Really?
MOM: The whole male stripper vibe isn't appropriate right now and it just isn't helping the environment.
DOUG: But I quit that last week!
MOM: I still get a vibe form that.
DOUG: Can I talk to her?
MOM:........
DOUG: Please?
MOM: Fine.................I guess you can. I'll give you ten minutes. Not eleven.
DOUG: Thank you!

Mom left the room and searched for Ami.

MOM: Oh, there you are.
AMI: Hello mother.
MOM: Can you come with me for around ten minutes?
AMI: OK.
[walks]
MOM: Ami.......this.....is your...father.
AMI: You're the guy on myspace who says you're my father?
DOUG: Um, yes.
AMI: Wow.
DOUG:......
AMI: I was expecting an uglier version. This is a bit more decent than then I thought.
DOUG: Please don't refer to me as "the guy on myspace".
AMI: But you are.

Doug was at his best to keep a fatherly demeanor.

DOUG: No I am not. That's disrespectful.
AMI: Then what do I call you?!
DOUG: You are to call me-
AMI: MY FATHER????!!??!!!!!!?!??!?!?!?!!!!!!!?!??!?
DOUG: Yes Ami, I am your..........................................father.
AMI: S***! How did you find our house?
DOUG: That's none of your business Ami.
AMI: I hate you already.
MOM: Ami don't say that to your father!
AMI: He's not my dad!
MOM: Yes he is!
DOUG: I'm your biological father!
AMI: Where are the DNA tests?
MOM: What are you talking about?
AMI: Why didn't you take a DNA test?
DOUG: This isn't Sci Fi!
AMI: I want some proof! I don't believe it!
DOUG: That's incorrect; you don't WANT to believe it.
AMI: Go to a lab.
DOUG: Believe it!
AMI: Go!!!!!
MOM: Ami you need to accept the fact that he's your father!
AMI: I'm Satan!
DOUG: ...
MOM:...
AMI: I'm Satan trapped in a girl's body.
MOM: Ami that's enough with this nonsense.
AMI: It's the truth.
DOUG: What are you saying?
AMI:

Don't make me kill you.

tabluvr · Thu Mar 12, 2009 @ 12:26am · 0 Comments


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