I knew it. I knew this was EXACTLY what was going to happen.
Three nights. No talking to the boyfriend. Thursday was a screw-up on both our parts, but he...he could've ******** TOLD me that his friends had decided to ditch him. When he didn't pick up, I figured he was busy. Midnight, I spot him on gaia. I ask him why he never called. He says he never went anywhere. He figured I was busy because I never called.
EVEN THOUGH EVERY ******** TIME I PLAN ON GOING ANYWHERE OR DOING ANYTHING THAT MIGHT OVERLAP WITH OUT TALKING TIME I ******** TELL HIM.
I got an hour of conversation out of him that night. Not nearly enough.
Yesterday, he spent the night at a friend's place like he was supposed to the day before.
Today, I called him from the house phone and told him my parents didn't pay my cell phone bill, so my service was cut. Later, when they did pay it and my service was back up, I call to let him know. Someone was screwing with his phone at the time, so I didn't get to talk to him. I called back about an hour and a half later. He answers. He tells me he's at a party with Noel.
FREEZE FRAME: The SECOND he said that, I knew we weren't going to be talking tonight either.
Whadda ya know? He just called me. He's spending the night at Noel's again. He says he'll call me at ten.
I don't ******** care. I'd rather not. He's going to be distracted by his friends anyways; he always is. I won't get in any actual conversation. I'll just sit there, listening to him and his friends laugh about whatever the ******** until I decide to hang up.
The past week has been driving me ******** crazy. Is it so much to ask for a REAL conversation?
And no one is even online anymore for me to talk to. My friends IRL are busy.
Where am I supposed to go right now? What the Hell am I supposed to do?
Think I'm overreacting? So will I, when I finally stop crying from being so upset and frustrated. What do you expect? I'm only ******** human, I get upset, I get irrational, it's natural.
I ******** miss him and these phone calls are all we have until I get to see him again. Am I wrong to be bothered? I don't mind him hanging out with his friends, but after a few days in a row, and more of that over the past week (left his phone at Noel's, spending the night, god knows what else), what do you want me to do?
What?
Let me be as bloody irrational as I want to right now. I can feel like an idiot afterwards. I just to let it out somewhere, since I've got no one to talk to right now, not out loud, which is what I really want. My voice is struggling to get out. But there's no one here. There's nop one here right now, so I don't know what the ******** I'm supposed to do with myself.
What the ******** is wrong with me?
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T-Kun's 'fficial Instructions (Now With Ramble)
Basically, anything on my mind. Summaries of my day, rants, rambles, thoughts. I've always got something on my mind.
Also, I am required by law to inform you that there are Zombies lurking. Have a nice day.
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Damon Baird is the most amazing cynic in the ******** world.
"There we go, one muzzled queen! But not you, her. You were great, I loved your speech there, especially the b***h-a** stuff. Very good, very enlightening."
"There we go, one muzzled queen! But not you, her. You were great, I loved your speech there, especially the b***h-a** stuff. Very good, very enlightening."
User Comments: [1] [add]
User Comments: [1] [add]
Community Member
It's normal to want to talk to someone, laugh, and even make jokes. Whether it is online or over the phone. In your case, you want to hear someone on the other side of the line, to hear their voice or laugh or whichever the case may be. It's normal. So don't feel any sort of negativity towards yourself because of it. We all express ourselves in different ways and desire communication with others.
For me, I'm content with just talking over the internet. But I have to admit there is a little voice there that just wants to scream out. To tell someone my problems or even to joke on the phone. The few times I have, I've noticed. I've noticed that hearing that other person actually made me happy. You know? To know for sure that, or at least to a degree that the other person is laughing with you and as happy or pissed off as you are. It's your way of saying, "I want you to pay attention to me". We're all human, and to be happy, we can't survive alone. Either that, or we'd all go f***in crazy right?
But on the other hand, he was wrong on his part. Sure mistakes happen, but no body likes it to happen in succession. They automatically think something's wrong or something else. KInd of like when I send a pm when you're online. When it doesn't get answered, maybe the first or two times I think I had bad timing, but after 4 or 5 times, I start thinking I did or said something wrong. Or even the possibility that you don't consider me a friend anymore; tossed aside. But thats my form of wanting attention.
Either way, even if he is hanging out with his friend's, nothing is stopping him, from within those 3 days to just go to spot alone and talk to you. HE'S getting the benefits of attention, but you're being denied what little you can get. Which is wrong, at least the way I see it. These are merely opinions and statements based on what I read, so if you don't want to, don't take them to heart.
I may not be able to talk over the phone, since you'd have to be the making the call If I make it, well, my grandparents would find out. But it's also past 12 here, so calling right now would be a no-go. But if you want, I'm always on msn, and even if you use Yahoo, I can contact to yahoo from msn if so wish.
That's my little input. Hope it doesn't offend you in any way.
Myst~