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Is Harmony to Naive Ears

A long time ago I lost the meaning. Something happened to me and I don't even know what. What I write has no story; no inspiration. Instead they are lines with words; a weak attempt in capturing emotion that I lack.

TheCrashing Sound of Love
Community Member

Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 @ 03:24am

1 comments


	Callous Sculpture It's difficult for these stoney lips to curl into a smile so genuine. Or my jagged arms to wrap around anyone Without first slicing them.

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This account is male, because I can't compare him to me. I'm a girl. And I know I won't compare myself to a perfected male pixel. That's why I made sure this account would be male.
Am I still pretty to you?
Tell me in my Profile.

User Comments: [1]

Ode-Melody
Community Member

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Commented on: Thu Dec 04, 2008 @ 10:38pm


	The one-line tone change at the end was unexpected, so it works well. Content is good because of how the imagery is used, and how unique it is. Diction and syntax are appropriate - the words flow well and determine the speed of the poem - in this case you chose to make it read slowly. Assonance and consonance used well (the "s", "i", and "a" sounds especially). Good enjambment. As for what to do with the poem, perhaps add one or two more stanzas before the one you've already written. Keep the last line how it is however - it works quite well on its own.

User Comments: [1]

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