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Is Harmony to Naive Ears

A long time ago I lost the meaning. Something happened to me and I don't even know what. What I write has no story; no inspiration. Instead they are lines with words; a weak attempt in capturing emotion that I lack.

TheCrashing Sound of Love
Community Member

Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 @ 04:26am

1 comments


	Crashing Sound of Love Drowning my up to my ears Reborn new and free No chains or murder Bleeding calms the soul Waiting feels like forever Wanting and needing Please forgive me. I can almost feel the explosion coming.

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This account is male, because I can't compare him to me. I'm a girl. And I know I won't compare myself to a perfected male pixel. That's why I made sure this account would be male.
Am I still pretty to you?
Tell me in my Profile.

User Comments: [1]

Ode-Melody
Community Member

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Commented on: Thu Dec 04, 2008 @ 10:49pm


	This poem isn't as good as "Callous Sculpture" in its content or its use of poetic devices. The content is more cliche, and there is no enjambment. Thoughts do not seem to go from one line to the next. Punctuation is also lacking in this poem - but I suppose that this poem is much older than some of your others. Imagery is okay, but its hard to tell if a narrator is male or female by the language used. Look at "Callous Sculpture" for instance; it sounds very masculine. This poem is more androgynous - in a bad way. You seem to like using quatrains, which is okay, but be careful because if an poet does that excessively it can make their poems sound similar. As for meter, stick the the 7,5,5,5 of the first stanza. The second stanza loses its meter on the third line. A good try though. (BTW, fix the first "my" and turn it into "me" on the first line)

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