Our last band concert... -tremendous sigh-
Here goes... -takes a deep breath-
I got to the band room, and there wasn't a lot of people in there. A little scary, but I just went with it. I set up most of the chairs/stands by myself it seemed. That made me a little angry.. >_> I was like "why isn't anyone helping?" I dunno.. I kinda figured everyone would just do it and get it over with, but everyone took Mrs. O's advice to "take your time"..... x_x lol Oh well. We got everyone in there and we practiced.
After school....
Okay an interlude to the last band concert, since this part is important to it.
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We wanted to get Mrs. Openshaw something special for everything she has given us. We wanted to make her cry [well... I wanted to. It had to be so good that it would make our teacher cry!!!], and to make sure she knew how much we appreciated her!!! u_u -cries- We went through all of parker. The only thing we really found was "PLAN C - a picture frame of a ghetto piano inside of it for $2 [?] So, me and Amy went home to my house. We took out the back, painted the piano black and white. The next day, we wrote on it and decorated the frame. Amy hammered the back part into the frame. Voila! We were proud of our efforts, until Bianca came by and showed us the Plack that they had made last-minute because they could pull some strings. lol. It's the thought that counts, yo!! xDDBen was to bring the flowers, juan and Francine were supposed to pitch in... The plan was to either hide the stuff in our folders or the curtain. The folders won.
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I got there at the band room. I had brought my purse so I could smuggle in the frame. I stuffed the frame into my folder and threw my purse into the office. I'm surprised she didn't find out about it since my folder looked so GOD DAMN fat yo... xDD I was worried about it, and my music didn't quite sit right with it. So, we then walked out onto the stage. Like the choir concert, more people showed up towards the end of the concert. Hime-san was sitting in the far back.. -tears-
Les Miserables
Halo
Pirates - CB Juan
Governor - CB Francine
Irish Folk Song - CB Bianca
Midnight Escape - CB Moi
America the Beautiful - CB Ben.
Lots of awards were handed out. I got a gold bar [4th letter basically], section leader award, and a plack for contributing to the band. I was surprised and really very happy! n_n Bianca received lots of neat awards too. I'm so proud!!! -tears-=D+++ As did soooo many other people. I don't have enough energy to listeverything... lol. But everyone came out with an award! =D So, that's really nice of Mrs. O.
Before the last song after Mrs. O had handed out all of the awards, Bianca got up, then me and Ben. Ben's dad brought the flowers Ben bought for Mrs. O. Wehanded her the plack and the frame Amy and I had decorated for so long. [It took us like 3-4 hours to do it, believe it or not] Mrs. O got chocked up and gave us all hugs. I was going to cry too, but I stopped myself. We played our last song.
Wendy had come up to the stage, and Mrs. O and Wendy talked about how great I was.. [I'm going to get a fat head..!!!! >< LOL! I secretly have a fat head.. but I don't let it go to my head! if that makes sense]
I left.. and I did homework.. I'm too tired to cry now.. I'm sure I will very soon.It's very upsetting. I also remember though, that I'm going to continue my music career. It's not like it's the last time I'm ever going to play music. And, someday...I'll come back to play something really beautiful for Mrs. O. [nobody steal my idea now... YO! or maybe sing? Or both?]
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Without her, none of this would be possible.. Not the hope, the strength, the encouragement, the growth or improvement.. the memories.. the memories.. -cries- Well.. maybe a small cry within me, but honestly I'm just so tired.. I'll have to have a good cry soon though... -wipes the tears away-
I just hope.. that somewhere in the corner of my mind she'll remember me too..and I hope she knows how much I appreciate and lover her.. In a small way, Mrs. O has been like a mother to me these last two years.. I don't know if that's creepy or not, but it's true.. She gives me advice and listens to my complains.. She doesn't say anything when I'm being stupid.. I.. She always says so many nice things, and has helped me in more ways then she'll ever know.. I just wish.. I wish.. -cries- I wish there were more words to explain the words inside of me, that try to choke me and overcome me with tears. I know the tears, don't end here.. I should be happy.. but I'm not.. I don't want PHS Band to end.
I wonder if anyone is upset as I am? Or was? Maybe I'm a crybaby.. I don't care. I don't care if these tears rock me to sleep.. Please.. God.. make these days last just a little longer.. so I can hold onto them. I may not always remember what the room looked like. How bright it was, how it could be unbearable cold or stuffy or both at the same time. That the carpet was a weird color, the sound reflectors, the rooms that were supposed to be sound proof, but really weren’t'.. How we were supposed to have built-in risers, but they're not. The ghetto stands.. People that stole stands from each other, or wrote on the stands. Stands being destroyed by the band club or by Mrs. O's bronc time. The strange phantom of the bathroom.. The toilet that flushed or the water that ran even when no one was in there. The juniors trying to break the table, and planning to break it for sure their senior year to buy her a new one. Going to the opera with the choir, making posters, and just today her helping me learn to play piano. She makes me nervous, standing there, even when she's trying to help. I want to always be my best, so it's embarrassing when I'm trying so hard to learn and I'm just starting. "If I can't be the best I don't want to do it.." That phrase still applies to me now, sadly. -sniffles-
Watching movies.. Like the 7 something.. bridesmaids? Or brothers or something.. The Sound of Music, Phantom of the Opera, The Corpse Bride... that strange "how to march" video.. very very strange. -laughs- Ditching to band during math classes... solos.. solo Fridays, preparing for solos... And.. looking up to her daughter, Britney. How she was so good at band and choir because she practiced so much. I was always too shy to tell her that I admired her and considered her like a hero/role model type. She always felt too far away to approach. Unreachable. Unobtainable. Could I ever reach that level? She was so much better, more ambitious, more hardworking. Not like me.. -sighs- But.. everyone is at different levels, like they say. I still admire her. I'll always remember her. I'll always remember Mrs. O and all the craziness..
Always.. I just..
I don't want anything to be my last...
Most of all, I guess I never realized how lucky I am. Mrs. O is so talented, and so
patient. Of course she gets angry. She only expects the best you can do, and when you act stupid or defiant all the time it's annoying. It's expected. But, it's their lost. They don't realize all the wonderful things they're missing out on.. They truly don't!
I wish that she could be my music teacher forever.. I never would've reached this level without her.. I'm going to miss her so much.. it's not funny.. I wish I had more time!! I wish this wasn't my last year in the parker high school band.. I hate the school, but.. I love being in band. I like the people, the room, the sounds, the fun.. I don't want it to ever end. It felt like it would never happen to me. I would never be a senior, and I would never leave this school. But now it's happening. I'm a senior, and I have to say goodbye to my high school life and enter the "real world". It's scary to think about.
To think -
"I won't see this person everyday at school"
The thought makes me tremble, and makes me want to turn back the clock. All my life, I was waiting for this moment. I was waiting to graduate. Years came by slowly, every so slowly and made me think it would never happen. And now that I'm here.. I wish I could have just one more year to truly appreciate everything here.
Until this moment, the word "last" never had so much of an impact..
"Last" is about as good as saying "goodbye forever". The last word, a last moment, a last smile, a last breath...a last concert, a last practice, the last day of school, a last picnic, a last get together...
a last...
goodbye...
I don't want anything to be a last!!!
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