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god, this sux. it's summer break, and it's SUPPOSED TO be great, but..it's not. not at all. i'm depressed agin, and along with that i'm annoyed by my friends, and i'm extremely worried about another friend who i found out is depressed. i never really thought i would hav to go thru this, but that's life, i gess.. well i gess if i'm worrying about on of my bffs, then it's worth it. my bff i'm worried about, omg i love him to DEATH and that will NEVER change. i no he probly doesn't want me to worry so much about him that i get upset, but i can't help myself. i think i'm a very caring person, and when i have awesome friends, sometimes i worry about them. even tho they say i shouldn't, but...like i said..i can't help myself. i'm deeply depressed agin, and i...well...i can't take it anymore...but what can i do? i can't just stop being depressed in the blink of an eye. it doesn't work that way..*sigh* i don't know what's wrong with me. what i mean by that, is, i write this worthless crap about myself, i gess i'm crying for help, but i'm not trying to do that. maybe a little, idk. it's confusing. like, i write stuff about my worthless needs and crap, but then i don't want people to feel bad for me. and when i was depressed b4, it was about the same thing. my friends said that like if i wanted to talk to them about it, then i could. i felt bad, and i didn't really want to, cuz i didn't want them to have to sit there and hear me complain about the exact same thing. i know all of them are probly tired of hearing about it, and i'm kinda, ok i am getting depressed for the same exact reasons. pretty sad...i just....idk. the thing is, idk if anyone can help me with this. i mean i talked to some of my closest friends, and thy said some of the sweetset, most helpful things i could ever hear from friends, i think...and it's almost as if..none of it even helped...i think the depression is worse this time, so that's not good. i feel bad i'm even writing this thing, cuz people will probly just say oh she's just a big cry baby, or awww, or is there any way i can help? then i feel bad. but i really don't know what to do......i honestly don't know if anyone can help me. -.- i only feel a tiny bit better..when i write these things...that's kinda the only reason..that people have to read this worthless, pathetic, sad, things..
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