This entry will help to explain my current state of mind. Yesterday my heart was torn in half by someone I do not wish to mention. All those sweet words that was uttered seemed like what was meant, but apparently in the end they mean nothing at all. I would have given this person everything, but apparently that was not good enough. You did not like the distance. It is not easy, but running away only leaves you with more pain, which I have had to learn from when I did the same.
Yes, I did the same to this person a long time ago, and now it has been done to me. Is this the irony of fate? You told me so many things, but if there was anything behind those words and if you wish for me to believe it, then you have destroyed that now. You are running away, because you do not like the distance, but in the end it will catch up to you and hit you square in the face. You may run from what you said, but you can't run from yourself no matter hard you try. I was prepared to wait for you, because I knew that what you really wish for in life, always is hard to get and worth fighthing for. But apparently I am nothing for you since did not wish to fight for me.
Were my words to you nothing but things that soothed your pain? They were words only meant for you, but now, you have taken them, throw them to the ground and are stomping on them. It hurts, it hurts deeply, you are hurting me by what you are doing. If I mean nothing, I want you to come flat out and say instead of covering it sweet sugar and cream. Instead, every sweet word you utter is like a dagger stabbing my heart over and over again. I do know this: you will come to regret this. I have been there, I have felt how hard these actions come right back at you. I have felt how lonely it was not to hold you. But I learned that I was just running from that pain.
It is not too late to do anything about. You are still in my heart and you always have a special place there. I am not the one runnning away, because I know what I want and I am willing to fight for it. The decision is yours to take.
 Israfel85 · Thu May 03, 2007 @ 10:31am · 5 Comments |
