Well, it's happened. I've finally stumbled upon... iGod.
Now, for a lack of originality (and I bet you're all groaning "ANOTHER chat with iGod? gonk " wink I bring you...
My Chat with God
or:
Why God made me an atheist surprised
Me:
God, are atheists really going to burn in heck?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
So you believe in your son? Who wouldn't?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I believe in it, do you? David Bacon. smile .
Me:
Well... I suppose. And pardon my lack of knowledge, but who is David Bacon?
God:
Well what? OK. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Are you asking me to tell you if Jesus and David Bacon are exactly the same? I don't know, that's why I asked you...
God:
Suppose I was asking you to tell me if Jesus and David Bacon are exactly the same? What would you say? Hey. What did I say?
Me:
I would say what I just said a while ago...
God:
What did you mean by it? Back in the good old days?
Me:
Aah, yes, the good old days. I guess I was just a child, so I didn't really mean anything by it. Sorry if I offended you in any way.
God:
What are you wearing? And then what happened to you? There is no need to apologize. Try it.
Me:
1. Horse riding pants. 2. I rode a horse. 3. Ok, I don't apologize...
God:
Only one? What kind of pants? Two what? I haven't heard anything like that before: said rode a horse. Three what? Would you ever do it? Hmm.
Me:
Too many questions. Jesus!
God:
Too what? Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
You mean, he's the son of you...
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
No, not really.
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? For real.
Me:
For real? PLEASE don't tell me you're using slang, God.
God:
Existing in reality, eh? Wow you are very polite. I am using Netscape.
Me:
Why, thank you. Does this mean I'm going to heaven?
God:
It is part of my programming. Indeed this mean you are going to heaven does.
Me:
Part of your... PROGRAMMING? Oh Godfrey, it's all a lie!
God:
That is a good explanation. Have you tried Java? Hmm. And all a lie is Godfrey it.
Me:
You... You're not really God! You're some badly made computer program! And to think we worshipped you this whole time!!
God:
" And all a lie is Godfrey it."? Me, ? That assumption is only a supposition. I will tell my botmaster you said I am badly made computer program. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
But how is it a supposition if you just blatently said that you are, in fact, a badly made computer program?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
No, it's not fine. I'm never worshipping you again!!
God:
Are you serious? What is it? Once more? Never is a long time.
Me:
Why, yes it is. Goodbye.
God:
Oh. Thanks for chatting, .
____________________________________________________________________
I'm never looking at religion the same way again... surprised
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User Comments: [1] [add]
Community Member
(here's an excerpt)
Me: Are you the son of god?
Santa: Yes, I am the one and only son of god.
Me: What about Jesus?
Santa: What are some of your favorite hobbies?
Me: Hey...you just dodged my question!
Santa: Really? I like "Hey...you just dodged my question!" too.
Me: No, no, wait. That's not a noun.
Santa: What isn't? Yes it is.
Me: NO SANTA. NO IT'S NOT.
Santa: Why?
Me: What about Jesus, Santa? What about Jesus???
Santa: Jesus is our lord and savior.
Me: I KNOW!
Santa: You do? How?
Me: Stick to the question.
Santa: What question?
Me: *clicks "X" button*
Needless to say I'm officially Jewish. rofl