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So, I'm about half way through my shift now. Got about 12 hours left. I've been on Gaia most of the day messin' with my profile. I've kinda felt weird all day, like indifferent. It's like I didn't feel happy, sad, angry... nothin'. Just bored.

I think I figured out a little while ago why I feel like this. I think sometime between yesterday and today I just lost my little tiny bead of hope that I had for anything good in my life. At least for the next year and 8 months anyways... That's when I get out of the Army. After that I really have no idea, something good could happen. But I really can't see it...

I used to look forward to going home on long weekends and for leave. Now it's at least another 2 months before my next long weekend, and I really don't even enjoy going home like I used to. All I do when I'm home is lay in bed and get up to eat and play 10 minutes of a game now and then. Pretty much the same thing I do here.

Well, I would say I just hope tomorrow will be a better day. But like I said, I think I lost all hope. I pretty much know I'm not gonna have a good day for a long, long time now.