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A journal... filled with words... enjoy!


DragonCat98
Community Member
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1 comments
Blind
I wish the world were blind.
no colors, no discrimination,
no verbal abuse.
there is too much hate in this world,
it is tearing at our hearts.
even if un-noticed,
it is still burning our souls.
but do we notice?
do we care?
no.
we let those evil demons
devour us, and we mock others,
as do those we hate.
so to follow up,
and summarize,
please love eachother
and be blind.





User Comments: [1]
The Star is Vain
Community Member





Fri Feb 23, 2007 @ 02:20am


Okay, criticism. Please, I am not bashing you, I am making a critique of your poem.

I think this is pretty good. Better than a lot of stuff. However, I think there's a lot you could work on. For example, you were very blatant about the subject. You might want to write so that your subject is less obvious, but still easy to figure out. I think you had nice wording, though, and a good subject.


User Comments: [1]
 
 
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