Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I hate life (like the poems didn't give you a hint). I hate myself. I hate the world. I hate the government. I hate my bestfriend's friend. I hate the guy who invented alarm clocks. I hate steak. I hate that anouncer guy for movies, TV shows, etc. I hate hate. there is only one person I don't hate, but if I talk about her I'll end up crying. I have a question for you: WHAT THE ******** IS WRONG WITH ME?!!!
I so vigorously hate myself. I ******** up way too much. I want to love, I want to cry, I want to die. I want to do something to make myself feel existant. I know a person who thinks she is a waste of time, and the funny thing is she is such a help to me that I feel insignifigant compared to her. What is wrong with humans? I hate them. And for all those smart asses out their, yes, I hate myself because I am human. We are too primal. a bunch of animals who are only better than dogs, cats, etc, because we can reason. Even that is primitive. We reason what benefits us, not others. We live only to die, and those after us who we build the world up for only do the same. Why bother you may ask. Life was given to us, so let's make the best of it. Thrive, have a good life, and don't sulk like I do. That's my mistake. All of us are equal and none of us is better than the next. Treat everyone signifigantly. I've made too many mistakes to think otherwise.
I sit and sulk and write dark poetry too expres myself, but in times where light is needed, I try too cast it. Some may like being the rain on eeryone's parade and try to be negative at everything, but it makes you sick physically and mentally. I should know, that used to be and still partially is me. Whoever reads this, do not make the same mistake I did. No matter how much you hate this ******** perverted hell hole called Earth, being a dark person just hurts yourself more than others, for the consequences of it are far greater than any satisfaction you may possibly derive from it.