i hate that my brotgher doesnt have a single ******** dependable friend to bring him to get his ******** meds so now i have to bring my mom to work, bring him to get his meds, then go pick my mom back up from work later at night when i cant ******** see in the dark
i hate leaving the house
i hate driving
i hate being guilted
i hate being called lazy for not wanting to leave the house
i literally just wanna hang myself rnm
"cmon jessie u dont do anything all day just do this one thing for me"
when i am not in my safe space i am extremely overwhelmed by everything.
everyone and everything makes me anxious.
it feels like im having a heart attack when another car gets too close
i even get overwhlemed and anxious doing the things i ******** like.
even those overstimulate me.
85% of the day im idling doing nothing just have videos playing if that im not even joking
"cmon jessie u dont do anything all day just do this one thing for me"
"ur so lazy u cant do this one thing for me"
"ur so selfish i just asked u to do this one thing"
this is the notes im gunna leave them when i finally do it
(I WONT THIS IS JUST AN EXAGGERATION OF MY FEELINGS)
i ate like one piece of chicken i lost my appetite id rather starve rn bc whats thepoint of enjoying my food if i have to leave trhe houjse
n im prety sure that i have to bring my mom to work and come back and then leave to go back to towen right after bc he vant pick up his meds yet so im gunna have tgo go into town 3 times today
i just wanna cry and be under my covers and disappear
but if i cry theyre gunna ask whyh
and i cant explain why bc i just go nonbverbal instead
and if i explain why they wont get it and say "just do it its not that bad" and continue to not udnerstand
was gunnf inish a comm or drawing tod ayt but ******** that i dont even want to exist rn
sincerely hate the fact that i like living too much to kms while simultaneously wanting to kms every day
 djwhitebooty · Wed Jun 28, 2023 @ 08:25pm · 0 Comments |
