I found out today people talk about me. That doesn't make a man paranoid at alllllllllll. I wonder what people say..? I wonder if its bad... I.. I'm scared of it. I don't like the thought but only because i don't know what's being said. Is that strange?
I don't know.
I had another nightmare last night, Back into the swing of me being chased and brutally murdered. These sorts of nightmares have been happening a while now but, eh, its nothing to get too up tight about. I'm use to it.
It was cooler today than it has been all week. A beautiful breeze but a very hot sun. I think i got a tan? that kind of sucks. I try very hard to stay out of the sun to try and stay very pale. I do not like being tanned. blah. I feel pale, almost porcelain skin is probably one of the more pretty shades of skin, on me at least.
I dont talk to them as much.. That friend of mine im falling for. We talked a lot for a few days and now im lucky if they want to talk to me. I.. don't know how to progress? Should i keep walking forwards and pay them no mind anymore or should i keep standing still and wait for them to come around... I tried waiting around for someone for four years and that went sour so.. Maybe.. i should keep walking.. Who knows.. They may one day catch up with me? I'd like that but.. Only time will tell. I hope lady fate will be kind to me.
Today i realized how easily all the people i talk to are fooled by a bubbly facade. No one has noticed today. Maybe if I keep it up no one will notice when I just stop being active all together? I'll slip from memory so quickly. I.. May do an experiment over the next few days.. The only way people will know if im active is if they actually read these journals, which no one does.
For the next few days im going to try and not speak to anyone at all.. just.. to see if anyone even notices.... I wonder if I matter to anyone.. Cause right now I really feel insanely replaceable.. And I really dont have people i can ask for reassurance. I don't want them to get annoyed or upset with me being a downer. nnhhh... So my experiment will have to do.. Lets see... if I really am replaceable..
Thats all for today...
Until later
-Lue
 Lucifer Knightroad · Thu Jun 15, 2017 @ 02:24am · 0 Comments |
