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This is meant for Him to read. Because I'm not too good with words and speaking to people face to face because I always end up bawling and tripping over everything I say.
But anyways. He lied to me about the box I found under His bed. He lied right to my crying face. Even when I asked Him for the truth, and asked Him to look straight in my eye and tell me the truth. Even when I asked Him to promise me He was telling me the truth. He still looked me straight in my overflowing eyes and told me straight lies. And the worst part? I found out by myself.
I don't understand. If it was just a kiss, then why did He bother hiding it all from me? Why did He bother keeping the freaking box she made Him if it was "nothing", and just "from the past"? Why did He bother hiding something so small like that? Why did He bother covering it up with some stupid, unbelievable story?
He burned the box on His grill, right before my eyes. I asked Him about the beer bottle inside of it, and He said He threw it out. Lies. A few weeks after that I was in His room again and saw the bottle there. Why are you still lying to me?
If He's bothering to cover up something so "small" with the most dirt He can possibly come up with, and CONTINUE to cover up, then there must be something He's still hiding.
It's hard to trust Him when I can see through all His stupid lies.
I continuously ask Him if He cheated on me, just to hear His voice say "No", but in reality He's hiding something. Or maybe He isn't, and I'm just being paranoid.
It's so hard to trust again when you can see all the s**t being put right in front of you. And you look up as if to say, "This is it?" and they say, "This is the best I can do," when you can see all the good food right behind them that they just made.
Does that make sense at all? That's how I feel right now. What are you possibly hiding from me, Riley? I feel like, because you lied to me twice now, if I find that you used another lie to cover up again, it really might just be over. I'm so scared, but I really, really want to know. This is making my insides hurt, and right now my throat is choking up. I don't want this to end because of your stupid decision to lie to my face. I don't understand why you won't just tell me. Or maybe you have, and again, I'm just paranoid.
Ugh, Riley. I've told you everything that happens in my life, from when I bite my tongue, fart, burp, where I am, where I'm going, and almost all of the funny conversations I have word for word. I don't understand why you kept this from me.
Just, why?