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As the music envelopes the room, she watches opera at it’s finest with the one that got her loving opera and the male with the abnormally big voice yet with one of the smallest bodies. She felt her heart ache at the words the two ‘lovers’ were singing.

‘There for me’

She felt a knife stab her in the chest.

‘will you be there for me?’

Twisting and ripping at her heart. So much had changed in her life, things that were steady and there left her. Those she loved and wished to have compassion from, didn’t. For a while her world was up side down. It was like The Fates cruelly wanted her to lull into a false sense of happiness. A false sense of perfect friendship. Unchanging and unconditional. But in one foul swoop it was ripped away, and it nearly took her out as she was so strung up on a web of lies and deceit. It was amazing that she is so phobic of spiders yet allowed herself to become numb to the one spider that was feasting on her happiness and well being. Well that’s what it felt like once she got away from it.

‘Thinking of me everyday?’

That line made her blink and she let her eyes fall on her vibrating phone.

“HI BOO!!!! Hope I’m not interrupting your opera, but I just wanted to tell you that I hope your having a blast! LOVE YA <3”

That warmed her heart, it was her best friend that she was ‘always mad at’ since she’s moving away. She was learning to let go and move on so she was sad that her dearest friend was moving, but she was happy that she was following her dreams. Her own got derailed for a time, but she’ll soon get her chance.

“Couldn’t be happier.”

She texted back with a warm smile knowing her friend knew it was there. Turning her phone off she looked up and watched the spectacle of love and compassion in front of her. She felt a tear fall from her eye and smiled, she realized it was all okay. Every bit of it. She finally came out of her decade long depression and painfest. She was truly happy now, she had real friends to be with, that really wanted to hang out with her, not just a fake mask that she could see through but played dumb just so she could feel someone would be there for her. Her friends would just come out and b***h at her or laugh with her, she didn’t feel like she had to walk on egg shells around them, she didn’t feel like she had to fear what she had to say. She was glad they didn’t give ‘subtle hint’ when really there was nothing there when it was thought there was something there. She really did hate all those mind games, she always wondered why it always had to happened to her. Why couldn’t she just had a friend that came out and said what they wanted to.

She signed, she was one to talk. To this day she had never said her peace in fear of what the repercussions of her words. If she had of said something, would the friendship ended sooner and she be a whole lot happier sooner? Foolish thoughts, she pushed them out of her head. She knows she’s no better for staying silent and just taking most of the blame to stay friends in a doomed friendship. Shaking her head.

‘When your close to me, so close to me’

Her hand tightened around her phone, she was kinda glad this was the last song, it was so beautiful but sad, and she needed to do something. When it ended she stood in her floor length dress, with the delicate straps over her shoulders and clapped happily that it was over, that the singer graced the city with her voice, and the fact that she knew what she was going to do.

The next day she went out to another friend’s pond, she thought about going fishing but it was a bit chilly out so she just sat down by the pond, her butt getting cold as the ground was moist and cold. She, however, didn’t even feel it for once. Taking out a decent size origami boat with words sprawled out all over it she smiled at it. “Here you go.” she put a couple of pictures in it and put it on the water. Taking out a lighter she bought from work she lit the boat and gave it a gentle shove.

“Like so many kings in lore of the Norse I send you out to your last voyage.” She didn’t really believe in the Norse, but she respected them. It would be hypocritical if she didn’t with her own religion. “Burn letter brightly. I wasn’t given a chance to speak my peace and so I’m doing it like this so even though the words will be forgotten, the weight is off of me.” Curling her legs up under her she watched it float and burn.

“There you are!”

She jumped and turned but smiled “BOO BOO!” opening her arms, her friend came up and knocked her completely over in a hug. Finally sitting up and side by side.

“Is that your note?”

“Yeah.”

“How do you feel?”

“Surprisingly? Ah maiz ing!”

“Yah? Do you think the last bit of your anger is gone?”

“Yup, I’ll still get pissed but now I’m not going to dwell so much, I’m not going to be so sad and depressed. And I’m sure as hell not going back to the way I was. I’m so happy now.”

“Are you going to miss it?”

“What?”

“all the things you used to do?”

“Sure I am. It was fun as hell. Well in the beginning, at the end I just did half the things I did to get something new going. It lost the spark.”

“Were you just friends cause of that.”

“I’ve been thinking about that since that day. Honestly? No. I think it was one of those things, I….its complicated and I feel like as much as I want to talk to you about it, I don’t think I should as I feel like its our business.” Making a motion towards the smoldering dead boat and her “and that I would be betrying trust by speaking with another about it.” she smiled to her friend and kissed her shoulder “I’m in a super happy place now, I am not going to regress, and I’m proving to people that I can be goth and happy.” They both laughed.

“Yeah we don’t need go going from Goth to Emo in 5.3 seconds!”

“Stoops!!!! That’s my line!” pushing her friend they had a giggle slapping fight till her friend got up.

“I’m hungry so hurry up!”

“Okay okay…” she watched her best friend run off to the car. Looking back to the boat she stood and brushed off her butt. “Damnit.” realizing her butt was a bit more wet then she thought. “Oh well.” Looking at the boat. “I know you’ll never read this, nor will you ever hear what I truly have to say, lucky you as even though there are good things, my hateful words probably would outweigh the good.” Picking up a decent size rock. “Even if it was all lies, they were painful to hear, my selfesteem went through the floor because of you, and my heart was shattered beyond dust particles. I’m doing so much better that your gone. I will miss you when I absolutely have nothing to do or if I go on a road trip and actually want someone to go with me.” lightly bouncing the rock in her hand “I definitely will keep writing little stories, or daydreaming stories, but that’s about it for now. I have friends now that love me for me, love me for being Mary f-ing sunshine, love me for my quirks. I have friends now that show me it. I wish you a goo….” She stopped and stopped bouncing the rock. Making a noise through her nose she threw the rock and missed the boat, like she thought she would, but it splashed on the charred remains and scattered them about the pond. “I won’t wish that, that would be a pointless wish…”

Waving her hand at the pond she turned and headed back to her friend who was by the cars smiling warmly with her arms wide open. Smiling back she went and snuggled in, “I feel so light right now.”

“You finally let go?”

“yeah. I’m done.”

“Good now lets go, my boyfriend and daughter are waiting for us at the restaurant.”

“I CANT GO!” turning around they laughed at her misfortune. she turned back seeing her friend pull a flannel shirt out of her back seat and tie it about her waist.

“There it doesn’t even show now.” with a smile.

She knows that there will be bumps in the road still but at least now she’s prepared for them and ready to meet them head on. No one is going to hold her back or down anymore. She will always keep the good parts of the friendship deep in her heart and that if the one that the note was meant for was in true trouble she would help if she could. But other then that, she will not go back as she felt like it was a drug that she was addicted and she didn’t like that.




Shutting a rather thick and ugly looking book a girl smiled and picked it up along with the pen she went to the fire blazing in the fireplace. Throwing it in she smiled as it burned green. “I thought those years were toxic…” nodding lightly she went back and pulled a piece of paper and got a new pen. Taking one last look at the green flames, she pulled her legs up into the chair and started writing.

‘Now that I’m out of the toxic fog, I can clearly see enough to tell my stories again…Once Upon A Time…………………………….’