so after 1 week of falling in love something happened !!
before wednesday, that was tuesday night, I pm him in his YM and I gave him my number and told him txt me so that i'll know his number and i'll buy a simcard same as his~ and then when I woke up I got 1 message ! from him ! yeeeey! heart
but hey wait a minute, I woke up again ! ohhh geez its just a dream ! but in reality i really have 1 message! before i open it I put my hands in my cp and slowly read it to surprisingly see who txted me~ then its not an unknown number ~ burning_eyes
its just my classmate!! damn~ so I assumed that o he didnt text me, maybe he replied in my PM in YM!~ then I excitedly open my YM! and cheren !
none~ i didnt recieve any offline message~ oh crap ! but maybe he's already online in Ragnarok ! So I logged in and then ~ he's not there ! ohhh tsk ~
but some of my friends are there so we chit chat ~ then after a while ~ he came ! yey ! but he stayed for a short time ~ he said he's going to lvl his char ~ and I said I wanna come but he said he want to do it on his own~ so I've waited again for his return~
and then I chit chat again with my friends ~ while waiting for him~ then his friend iRL arrived ! and I ask him where'd they go he said they ate outside of the comp. shop ~ then my crushy came back ~ and so i ask him if he's mad or angry at me cause i kinda realized he's not talking to me for long ~ then he said "aww why would I get mad at you?" then i said nothing ~ then my tears gonna pop out of my eyes ! i was gonna cry ! but it didnt happen ~ then why did I felt that way ~ I feel he's neglecting me in some way but he said he's not at mad me ~ why am i feeling this way ?! then I asked my friend why I felt that way and she said because you want him to give his attention to you ~
is that so? am I really like that? I just wanna hang out with him like the other day ~ but he said sorry its kinda rush that's why I am always away~ then he does not do the sweet things he usually do to me ~ that's why I felt something is wrong~ or maybe im just thinking too much ~ then I shut down the computer and went to the bath room to think it over and to take a shower ~
so I decided~ Im gonna take a leave for a week ~ and see what happens ~ neutral
im thinking too much ~ every night i get the same dream over and over again about him and his char in ragnarok ~ maybe its the effect of being to addicted to that game and addicted to him~ blaugh ~ but I think its the best way~ I know it wont be easy to stay away ~ but I have gaia so I can at least forget what happen~ and to not over think about things ~ and to finish some things I need to do ~ emo
its been 2 days already~ and 5 days more! I can do this !!
I will love you even though u cant love me the way I do~ heart heart heart :
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