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first skype date with Him tonight. it was fun smile listening to His chuckles seeing his face. i couldnt stop smiling~! He's such a hottie. i remembered how much of a hottie and how handsome He is. i remembered that someone could just steal him away from me so easily and i wouldn't be able to stop them. i sigh. i'm so jealous of the girls there. who get to see His famous little smirk almost everyday. get to hear His soothing voice. they don't know how lucky they are just to be able to know him. erf. mood swingy. girly cramps. i miss Him so much. I worrying about Him too much. I trust Him but I can't trust strangers.
He worries about me, but i don't see any reason why he should at all. no one talks to me, let alone knows i exisist. i think everyone i talk to is a douchebag. my douchebag radar is top-notch. so He has no reason to worry. I love Him so much. why would i ever leave someone that makes me so happy? my mom says let go, and if His love is true and we're meant to be together he'll come back. But i'm afraid to. i'm afraid to let go of anything about Him. in my head, He's like a balloon. once you let go, he'll float away. he'll come back down someday but maybe His love will float down to someone else instead of back to me where he was before. I miss Him so much. Today I spazzed when he messaged me back. I was nervous when we were skyping, and i had butterflies fluttering all over my insides. God i miss Him.