January 13 (three days before execution, two days before escape):
Sometime during the night the guards moved Garrison to the cell across from me. I guess they caught on to the note-in-the-wall idea. A huge, muscular guy was in the same room as he. I heard the guards joke around earlier, saying "this oughta keep the little scrawny b***h quiet". Something inside of me wanted to snap their necks for even letting the thought of saying such cross their mind while the other side of me wanted to just lay down and die.
I heard what sounded like a fight near where I think Shense was being held. I tried to look through the bars but a combat boot kicked me in between the eyes. "That's none of your damn business you whore. Don't make me come in there and give you something to be worried about," his little boy posse surrounded him and started pretending to ******** me. Disgusting. Four of the bigger guards hauled Shense over to the center of the corridors. I was able to catch a glimpse of him before they put him in a stress position. I could tell that the look of pure insanity was present but not wether it was anger or child's play.
I blocked myself from this world. I only saw Garrison screaming at the guards and Shense cracking up.
...
I lay face down trying to remember what could have happen to us...to me. I could feel a migrane forming. Just think...just don't go to far...just think!
YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF
Don't go too far...just far enough.
YOU DID THIS T-
Another slap across my cheek. "Stop lying and tell me where he is!" the fat man yelled at me. I shook my head slowly, refusing to let the tears fall. Another slap. "I will end you! I'll make your life a living hell!" I laughed or at least tried to. "You don't know me..." I said, raising my head slowly. I saw fatty reach for a gun. "You don't know who I am, where I've been, how long I've been there, what I was doing there, or why I was there in the first place," I said while looking him in the eyes. He pistol whipped me. I trembled while I watch the blood drip from my mouth. "Tell me where the ******** he is!" he spat.
I can't remember where that came from but it was seared into my memory. Just make it all go away... just make it go away...
YOU CAN'T ERASE A MEMORY. YOU WON'T LET YOURSELF FORGET. WHY DON'T YOU GIVE UP? JUST GIVE UP.
---
Clarification: I don't hear voices. I hear me talking to me. It's the side of me I'm trying to get rid off...
This is going to go backwards and forward so it might get kind of confusing.
 kikan123456 · Tue Mar 16, 2010 @ 02:21am · 6 Comments |
