He still could not believe she was gone. It seemed just like yesterday he was holding her in his arms, singing to her a sweet lullaby. She had grown up so fast. Where had the time gone? Seventeen years went by with a blink of an eye with his extended life span...
He would never forgive himself. With her birth he would start a new. Repair his broken heart that his daughter's own death had left him with. He would shield her from the dangers of the world. Oh, how he loved his little Dianna. He treasured the memories of her cute smiles and giggles. When she would dance on her Grandfather's toes and show him the deepest of affections.
He counted the time that passed since her death. One year, eighth months, twenty one days, six minutes, and thirty nine seconds... He knew these numbers and would never forget them. He felt nothing for these days, months, and years. His once warm heart grew a bitter cold barrier, refusing to be hurt so again.
He would never forgive himself. Parents who lost their child before they passed knew nothing of true suffering. He had lost two of the most beautiful women in his life. His daughter and his granddaughter both passed before his expiration date. He snorts when he hears of humans that cannot rise from their beds and don't have the energy to go about their day for some false diagnosis of depression. They knew nothing.
He wasn't there in time. She lay on the earth, rain pounding on her delicate flesh. Her eyes dull and unmoving. He knew she had long left this world and walked the promised land of oblivion. He had no power. He was weak, useless. His promises he broke when her heart slowed to a stop. He cried tears that could fill rivers and oceans. He cried until the tears stop flowing. He killed the ones that took his only away from him. He killed until there was nothing left.
He would never forgive himself. He had given his blessings to her and her lover. The two had bore him a delightful grandson. Was this a curse? Will he lose him as well? He refused to see the child that he loved like he loved his precious. He couldn't see another love damned this way again. He refused this to happen again.
He lay on her grave with his eyes closed. The horrible thoughts that ran through his mind could not rest. He wish he could seep into the ground and push her out. The steady rain that fell...made him beg for a change of fate. He would never forgive himself.
 kikan123456 · Fri Dec 25, 2009 @ 12:09am · 5 Comments |
