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Okay..So. I weighed myself today just now. I gained a pound. Things NEED to stat getting better before I either die from a heart attack or suicide. For the past week and a bit I've been having shitty heart murmors which hurt and are annoying. I don't know what kind of sign that is...but at this point, I couldn't care any less. I'm not going to the doctor because she will tell me the same crap over again. The next thing she needs to tell me is I'm going to die next year instead of 8 years from now(which is what she had said). I need to lose weight. Okay so today I was driving to school and it was about lunch time. As I pulled in I saw a cop with a radar for speeders. I wet to park and walked back to the policeman. I stood about ten feet away from him just watching do his job. After about twenty mins. Of standing there,he came on the intercom and said; "Are you cold? You havin fun?" I didn't understand him at first so I walked up to the window and he repeated to me. Then he asked if I wanted into the car and I said., "am I allowed?" he let me in and we talked for about ten mins. About ten seconds after I left, he caught a speeder and pulled her over. HAHA women drivers. (jokes). It was knd of fun talking to a cop for once and being able to take an inside look at te job of a police officer. Today in business I tried to finish up a powerpoint that I was doing for my group. I almost finished it...although! I would have finished it if my teacher didn't start to rant. My ******** teacher! So apperantly she got engaged not to long ago and shes freaking out because she has no money for a ring or dress or anything. I felt like saying..you should stop buying lots of make up and expensive whore clothes and stop making your boobs bigger. She clearly got implants. BUT, she is what she is...shes my teacher and it's not worth the suspension. I can't believe I even made it home today. I almost ran out of gas in the car untill my step-dad lent me some money. The car sounded like it was spitting, which it was because it had basically no gas left. I was so scared and embarassed. Like...who runs out of gas on the road. FML. I also have so many prblems with college right now. There are lots of choices for me to make and hard commitments. The school work that I have to dois starting to slightly catch up to me right now. I need to stop being a lazy a** and get s**t done, because this isit baby. My last chance. Today I witnessed something funny as hell too. At my co-op placement today, I was emroidering some silly shirts for a learning program, and the design they needed was two hands joined together with writing under and over them. Well..I did it right...but they sure didn't. When I was done I took a close look at the design and the way the hands were shaped...it looked like a v****a. I laughed my a** off and informed my coworker. She laughed too and called me a sicko. I gave her some smart a** remarks. I also go caught chaning in my car today by my old gym teacher. Ironically enough...I parked right beside her. I had a dress shirt on but needed to put my school shirt on before going in the school. I thought it would be harmless for me to just change shirts. WRONG. It was her lunchtime and she went to open her door and noticed me changing...I had no shirt on and was putting on my school shirt. She knocked on the window and I rolled it down. She said "So luke....Where is she?" I said "what!?" Shes like.."oh, I mean HIM, sorry." Then she got in and drove off. I was so embarassed, but I'll get over it. I need to start getting my crap together and have a decent life...before it's too late. Life hurts sometimes...especially right now.

End of entry #15

Luke. J. Hollis.