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I wasn't too happy for live my life like this. But I can't really do anything about it...
Oh well...

Anata no Seide
あなたのせいで
(Because of You)

Chapter 1
Alcohol and Phonecalls

It was a harsh fall day, cold winds stung my cheeks as the hard rain hit my legs. It was the only way to get to school. Mother would only drive my younger sister to school, since her classes began earlier than mine. As for Father? I don't know who he is. Nor where he is at. I figured he wouldn't come back. I've only seen one picture of him. The picture was old, slightly burnt in the top left corner, and dusty when I found it up in the attic ten years ago. Father looked young, it looked like he was his early thirties or so.

"My legs are starting to hurt... I'm beginning to dislike walking." Not to mention, it was five miles away from home. I sighed as I continued my "journey". Surprisingly, no one took this route. It was actually a shortcut. I lived in an area that was pretty much unknown. Which means I couldn't talk to anyone. Just the neighborhood dog who would follow me to school every now and then, and bark at me whenever I'd start a rant. Sadly, he didn't stalk me today Curse the weather..

"He's probably under some old, desterted house.." I thought to myself calmly. It cheered me up, thinking that an abandonded dog would find shelter, one way or another. I chuckled and coughed. I was pretty sure I'd get sick today or tomorrow, sooner or later...

Holding the umberella and my half-ton messanger bag in the rain was... painful, to say the least. Today was the worst day to go walking. My school didn't allow male students to wear jackets. Which was horrible. To make matters worse, the uniforms were unbelievebly thin. And skin tight. "I swear... the principal loves to torture us boys.." I told myself aloud. But I didn't care. Nobody would be able to hear me. I guess that was the main "pro" of me being alone. "Sometimes... I wish I were born a girl... at least they can wear thick, long skirts..."

I saw a building up ahead. Which made me a happy kid. I tried to run, but stumbled when I almost tripped on a rock. I then learned to not run in the grass. It didn't sound to smart anyway. I walked up the hill and saw some blue plaid pants and skirts. "Hahah... I made it..." I told myself, barely able to hear since the rain got heavier. I felt dumb afterwards and walked with an uneasy face on my pale, imperfect face. I heard a soft voice yelling out my name.

"Ash! Over here!" I recognized that voice. It was my girlfriend, May. Or that's what I'd call her. Her name's Meilyn Hitomi Jackson, but "May" is way cuter, And way more fitting. "Hitomi" means "Beautiful Eyes". They're certainly beautiful, but I'm a sucker for a green-eyed girl. I never really got used to calling her "Meilyn" or "Jackson", so I just call her by "May". Besides, it's less complex. "H-Hey! May!" I stammered and started to sprint on the pavement. It wasn't any safer, but I didn't care too much. My being reached her and gave her a quick hug. While I looked over her shoulder, I noticed my little sister, Hayden. "Bro! It's me, Hayden!" She yelled from afar. "Oh! Hayden!" I said aloud as she come by, holding on to my arm. I began to wonder why I kept on seeing person after person. "Sooner or later, James and Izack'll pop up, eh?" I jokingly said to the girls, looking at both who just kept on clinging on my already in-pain arms.

And I was right. James and Izack snuck up behind me, How'd I find out? I felt their warm breath on my neck, which made me react and yell out. "What the-?! Izack! James! What the hell?!" They began to laugh uncontrollably and Izack finally responded to my statement. "Oh, Ash..." He told me, in a slurred voice. I figured that both of them were drunk. James laughed like no one was looking. I looked straight at the man and began to think about some stuff.

James was the "father figure". He was a hard-core drunk, and he came to school with a hangover. People say he isn't who he says he is, there are even rumors about his name. I'm not too sure what to believe. But either way, he was a friend. I didn't care much about his ways. He kept me company, and company's always nice. Luckily, I managed to break my train of thought. I looked at everyone and grinned uneasily, almost as if someone was making me grin. It felt uncomfortable... to say the least.

People began to crowd around us, and I felt nervous. Luckily, it didn't get to my head. "So... are there any substitutes today..?" I asked everyone, mainly refering to the students from Class 1-C. Izack nodded, which made me gulp. "Yup. Mrs. Marx is out, so she got a substitute." He replied to my semi-serious question. I shrugged and looked at May, who was acting like an air-head and began to look around. "May, wanna come skip with us during 2nd?"

She nodded. Simple. She just liked being around me. I don't blame her, though. I was popular for all the wrong reasons. My appearance 'bothered' everyone, especially girls. When in all reality, I was one of the prettiest boys around... which is pretty darn depressing.... but that's just me. I smiled and walked away, needing to get away from them. The way I worded it doesn't sound right. It sounds as if I were a jerk or an artificial friend. My forehead began to ache a slight bit, but I'd have to put up with it. It's not the worst thing ever... right?

"Class! Keep quiet!" Mr. Hunter's voice was powerful for such a small-built body. I think everything's "small-built", due to my horrific growth spurt during my second year in junior high. But that's enough about my previous academic years. I'm focused on this and this only... not really. Hunter's homeroom class is always boring. He doesn't get interesting until half the day is gone. Or every last friday of the month, which is payday; which is appearantly an awesome day for any underpayed employed man. Then he's the greatest guy ever. Too bad I rarely get to see that side of him. I stared at the clock blankly, just waiting for 2nd period to waltz by.

I tapped my finger on the hard desk, which certainly annoyed the others. How'd I find out? I was thrown paper planes. I grew used to it, though. When I hit that growth spurt, people threw paper planes at me and began to call me "The Lone Tower", which was a really crappy reference between "The World Trade Center" and "9/11". I chuckled once I picked up the slightly bent plane. "Looks like this model has to be recalled.." I laughed at my own poor joke while I perfectly aimed the plane to the trash can. It jumped in, which looked a bit ridiculous. The bell from the clock tower sung, and I realized that I pretty much wasted this period.

Since it was 2nd period, and I was planning to skip with a few friends, I waited for someone to pop up, just like in the morning. I got bored and leaned against the wall, making me look like a wannabe bad guy. I sighed, since it was still cold. My mind went black for a few seconds when I saw Izack walking toward me... which a case of 'Roland's'. Roland's was, sometimes, a cheap alcoholic beverage. Both my mouth and eyes were wide opened. It was amazing that no one even bothered to stop Izack. I noticed James waddle behind the man and it made me literally face palm myself. "That explains the alcohol..." I chuckled and walked to them. "Care to explain the drinks...?" My voice was small, almost as if I didn't want to be there. Which I didn't, but alas; I couldn't do anything about it. I've known these guys for quite some time, and if I ever dare run off, they'd tie me to a tree, just like a dog.

I awatied for some sort of response, and I did get one. James rammed his book case near my pelvis. It was a pretty hard ram. Too hard for me. I ended up on the cold, wet ground. I grunted in pain, and James stared at me, straight in the eye. As usual, they were cold and made up of an aquatic stone. That doesn't make much sense, does it? Whatever; all I'm saying is that his blue eyes stared at my humble, grey eyes. Izack's eyes were one of a kind... well... 'eye'. He only has one eye. Which is blood red. No one knows what happened to the other eye. It's pretty noticable also, the scar runs across his peach face. It completely closes his left eye socket.

I grinned, still in pain, and managed to get off my knees. My uniform got soaked, muddied, and slightly wrinkled. "Damn it..."

"Oi, Ash. Where's that air-headed broad, May?" Izack's tone wasn't too comforting or welcoming. It usually was, so it was somewhat odd. I sighed in grief and moved my head in a horizontal pattern. "I have no clue..." Once more, my meager voice was soft and weak. I hated it when any one called May a broad. Given, she is one; it sounds degrading to most women. Feminists would agree with me, I believe. Anyway, I, personally, was bothered by the pair.

I looked over at the library building and saw James. I waved like a complete spaz and she giggled. "Ash!" May yelled from afar. She jogged towards me and laughed along the way. She reached Izack, James, and myself. May bowed with respect, which was undeniably adorable. "May, glad you could make it.." James's voice was still slurred as he handed an unopened bottle to May. Like the goody-two-shoes girl she is, she denied the beverage without hesitation. "Sorry. I don't drink, James... be-sides; we are underage.. aren't we?" James sighed with agony and boredom. "Your loss, babe." He muttered and took an enormous gulp of the drink.

I shivered. "Why would anyone drink..? It doesn't look appealing, not one bit.." I didn't want to disappoint Izack or James, so I took a bottle and popped it with my slightly oversized belt buckle... which made me look like a Texan. I took a quick whiff and almost wanted to throw up. I gulped and took a sip. It wasn't the best thing ever, so I continued to think, "Gaah! I wanna spit this out so much..!" My inner voice was going insane when this new fluid came into my "innocent" body. I manned up and swallowed the awful drink. I felt like I was going to regret ever drinking it. I looked over at May, who was in disgust. "Ash, you're so lame." Her voice was stern and serious; something I rarely saw from this girl. I looked down in shame and my mouth opened. Words creeped out of it. "I figured."

The bell rang, which meant we were officially skipping 2nd period. No one cares if you are skipping. The teachers still get your money. Anderson Academy, this idiotic and somewhat useless school, was a high school university. I didn't know there was such a thing, but I was proven wrong. Harshly. Classes were tough, so were teachers. And they had every rule imaginable. There were even some that didn't make sense. But what didn't make sense was that you were allowed to bring alcohol! I've read the handbook (yes; call me a dork if you like) over eight times from front to back, and I didn't see 'alcohol' in any page whatsoever! If I please, I may as well sue the school. But... I'm horrible when it comes to law and justice. Oh, what a shame.

"Damn. The bell was louder than usual today, eh?" I told the gang. The three nodded, and scanned the area. Fog surrounded the males and female. "Ash... why do you skip? This school costs money, and it's doing damage to your education." May's statement was true; to say the least. I, as usual, sighed heavily and held onto her. "I do it without reason." I slyly whispered and surely enough; May was pissed off. "Damn it, Ash; What an idiotic reason." Izack, being the suck-up, nodded. "May's right. This-" I, being a jerk, interrupted him. "Shut the hell up! You skip more often than I do, damn it!" I yelled out, and it echoed through the mist. "Ash, Izack; Stop it!" May cried out. James smashed a bottle against the cement, and some shards hit my leg. "Ash, Izack, May; How about all of you just shut the hell up!?" There was an awkward silence, and it sure bugged me. And the silence stayed there for a good while.

"And class, when you subtract..." Hayden, unlike her dear older brother Ash, attended Ms. Welks' 2nd period with Danny Ken, a family friend. "Kenny?" Danny's nickname from Hayden, "How did we meet?" She shakingly asked, not paying attention to Welks. "That... again? Wow, Hayden.... That's such a Red-Shoe moment." Hayden laughed. "I figured you say that, but I'm being serious." Danny... or Kenny blushed. "Well... I don't seem to remember. That was such a long time ago.." It really was. Danny had known Hayden for over eleven years. The question was unanswerable, which hurt Hayden's feelings. "I really wanted an answer, Kenny..." Hayden felt depressed and blue, she ended up slamming her head on the desk. Which made the class wide-eyed. And Kenny quickle whispered, "Hayden! Behave, darn it!" She grinned, while her head was still laying on top od the cold, mahogany desk. "That's pre-calculus for you!" Welks yelled out.

"Ash, are you sure you don't want another one..?" Izack stammered. He was drunk once more. May felt very uncomfortable when three drunk men were near her. It made her frantic and horrified. "G-Guys... lay off the 'Roland's'!" She cried aloud. Which worried me sick. Luckily, I wasn't too drunk. I just wish I had coffee this morning, it would've made me a bit sober. James laughed obnoxiously. "May, we ain't gonna do anything to ya! At least.. not yet." He gave her a dirty and sly smirk, making her whimper. "James!" I barked at him. "Shut it, will ya?" I hiccupped and giggled. "Ash, James-- Both of you be quiet!" It was an never-ending arguement. And May had to break it up. "Kyaa! Shut up!" She cried and hit everyone with my bookcase. Which actually hurt. Alot.

"Hayden... wake up." Kenny whinned. He even poked her with a pencil. Hayden wasn't really sleeping, she just layed her head on the desk. Again. "Kenny... shut up." "No. Get up." He quicky responded and poked Hayden once more with the pencil. She slightly twitched, making Kenny chuckle. "Ugh! Kenny, I hate you!" She said that a lot, though she never meant it. Hayden flung and played with the word as if it meant nothing. Then... there was a slam. And something that was red and thick. "I didn't do anything!" Kenny cried out and threw the pencil aimlessly, which almost hit a student. Kenny finally payed attention to what had happened in front of him. You heard a soft whimper coming from... Hayden. "Aahh..." Her callings were faint and meager. "Hayden! Hayden, are you alright?!" Ms. Welks ran towards Hayden's desk and shook her shoulders. Students gasped, some bawled, and some laughed.... until a drop of blood fell. That's when everyone screamed and cried. "Hayden!!" Kenny pushed Welks away from Hayden and shook her. "Kenny... what happened?" Her voice continued to sound weak and meager. Kenny felt a salty tear run down his burning face. "I-I don't know...!" Kenny cried and held onto her tightly. "I'll call an ambulance...!" Welks yelled out, and without hearing a response from the others, she dialed 9-1-1.

There was a sudden chill at hit me and... well... just about everyone who was outside. "Ash, you picked the worse day to skip!" May whimpered. "I figured as much. I was never good with planning." I responded blandly. I was leaning against some old, semi-rotten oak tree. Which stabbed my back a few times. The light rain started to get a bit heavier and colder. I shivered then heard a chirp from my cell phone. "Huh?" I muttered to myself and answered the phone. It was Cal, the mother of Hayden and I. "Ashton.." There was a sense of despair in her high voice, and it worried me severely. "Yes..?" I responded hesitantly. The grin on my face was no longer there. "Hayden's at the hospital." Cal sniffed and bawled over the phone, and I, being the prima donna, dropped the phone. Yes; just like in those cheesy soap operas. "I gotta go!" I cried out loud and ran to the gates of Anderson Academy, not even hearing a response from anyone. Like the idiot I am, I never hung up on my mom. "Ashton? She's at Orington Hospital... Come, please." Izack, James, and May all heard Cal say the address and gasped. May hung up the phone and yelled out, "Ash! Orington Hospital! Go quickly!" I looked back and nodded while tears ran down my face. Some even managed to hit the ground. At least they looked like raindrops. I climbed over the gates and security went after me and yelled. James ran towards the two guards and tackled both. "Does this involve you?! I doubt it, so stay out of it!" He howled, and it echoed. I never thought I'd see him be like that. Now... he was more that just a person I hung out with.

Chapter 2
Race to the Facility of Life a.k.a The Hospital

People stared at me when I ran nonstop to the facility. It was a depressing sight; or at least to me, it was. I pushed bikers aside, jaywalked, and bumped into civilians and such. Policemen followed and tracked me down, which didn't help out in the situation. To make matters worse, the hospital was over six miles away. It was raining, luckily. I probably would've died from heat stroke because the uniform is mainly black and blue. I shouldn't be thinking such things when my own sister has a chance of dying. "Not now... Hayden! Wait, please!" I thought, and even my inner voice was frantic and uneasy.

While running, I saw a glimpe of hope; A sign. Literally, a sign that read, "Orignton Hospital- four blocks". I was proud of myself because I was able to run at such a high speed and reach the facility quickly. Tripped over sidewalk cracks and civilians' legs, pushing carts and vendors to the street, breaking a kiss, and occasionally stepping on somebody's foot; I did everything just to be with my little sister. To my luck, I saw some nearby cherry blossom trees. The ultimate sign, it meant that I saw close to the facility. I sighed in relief and agony and rushed into the lobby. Patients, parents, doctors, nurses, and children stared at me; almost as if I were someone who was mentally challanged or had an extra limb. 'Awkward' was the only word that would describe the scenario. I felt an unwanted shiver walk down my spine and jogged to the front desk. "Namikawa... H-Hayden? I am l-looking for Namikawa Hayden..." I said breathelessly. The attendant was nice and smart enough to check the computer. "Ah, she is in Room 42." She responded with a warm grin on her perfect face. She looked at her assistant and coughed. "Room 42? An odd number, isn't it? It's a bad luck number.." She stated calmly and wrapped herself, using her bare arms.

I can't go into much detail anymore since I ran off to find this "Room 42". The room number had a certain ring to it. A familiar ring to it, which worried me deeply. 42 in Japanese really was an unlucky number; it is said "Shini"... which means "death". Usually, hotel rooms nor hospitals have the room numbers 42 or 562. I was deathly scared... no pun intended. The elavator was jam-packed with children who were just riding it for fun, so I ran to the stairs and up. I heard some sniffles from the end of the hall and immediatly recognized them. They were of my mother, Cal. "So.. that means that they are at the end of the hall..?" I made the analysis and stuck with it. Luckily I did, because I found Room 42...

I never thought I'd be in the hospital with my mother and sister only. This was the one time I wish I knew where my father was. Then, I would be able to dial his number and tell him the surprising news. "For all I know... father's dead. As for Hayden... I'm not too sure." I was so... angered at myself for thinking such negative thoughts at the wrong time and environment. "Damn it..." Was all I was able to say, to think, etc. I took a long stare at the door which lead to my sister's bed. "Do I really want to witness my sister in such pain? I don't, and I don't think anyone does. But it's my duty as an older brother to be there for her." And I stood to my word. I gulped silently and walked into the room..

Which was filled with nothing but "beeps". I will say; the beeps did haunt me for a while. As I scanned the crisp-white hospital room that was Room 42, I saw my mother sitting on the chair that was placed in the corner. "Ash..." My mother stammered while trying to fight back tears... in which she was doing very poorly at doing so. I feel out-of-place, uneven... so useless. When in reality, I wasn't; I was a pillow to my mother... which made me feel slightly better. I heard a soft moan, then a groan. I twisted my head to the left and saw that Hayden had awakened. "Bro..." She was weak, almost as if she had cancer. It frightened me... how in the world did she get sick?" I thought, enraged and ashamed. Why ashamed, you ask; well... I didn't protect Hayden.

As I thought that... I saw people. Two other people... it gave me a case of deja vu. The two people were leaning on the corning; one was fumbling with her thumbs while the other person next to her was staring right.. at the moniter, with deathly eyes. Then, they were directed to a cord... which was connected to Hayden's oxygen supply. I blinked once... and blacked out. I didn't hear, see, nor feel anything. Luckily, it lasted for a few seconds... but I wished I had never woken up.