In my views, the idea of MADNESS seems to stem from a variety of aspects:
Misunderstanding, hate, destruction, despair, hopelessness, envy, and even loneliness.
I realize upon closer examination and analyzation of my thinking and emotional patterns, that I have experienced all of these aspects in my wretched life. What does it mean?
No one truly understands me. No one wants to understand me.
My mind is a funny thing. It yearns for love and companions, yet despises it altogether as well. For as long as I can remember, solitude has been my friend...my wife...my angel. It stays with me forever and ever. Protecting me from harm. Trapping me in my fears. I miss it when it leaves. It is my sweet poison.
Am I a monster? Am I just some creation from the darkest parts of the human mind? Am I not real?
Countless people have told me that I have scary eyes. Serious eyes. A "thousand yard stare". These eyes of mine are my curse. These eyes of mine are the thorns of a rose. It keeps away the wary passerby, not allowing others to become close to its beauty and nature.
God, how I hate people. Corruption, greed, selfishness, hypocrisy, materialism...people are the true beasts. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. I wish I could love them. I hate them.
I know it and do not doubt it...I am MAD. I have always wondered just how different my mind is from others and how that will affect me in the future. I am fearful, yet curious to see just how far it can grow.
How far will you take me, O MADNESS?
-MK
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