I know its too late to take everything back... But please believe me, I wish i could. I wish i'd never hurt you, or made you cry like that. And i realize now, how wrong i was to keep you hanging like that. You know who you are, and i hope you read this... Forgive me for being me, because its the one thing i'm worst at. You should know, it took me this long just to realize how much i miss you. But i do. I've lost you, It's over, but i don't want you to treat me like this! Avoiding me, not calling, ignoring me, it's only making this worse. by miles, we're closer. but otherwise, we're as far apart as could be. Don't exclude me like this! Please! I've lost you more than once, i don't want to again... Even if you're right in front of me, why are we so apart? why do you put such a thick wall up? why do you hate me so? I know i'm wrong! but i can't admit it to you... i don't want you to see me as a fool.... an idiot... i don't want you to think of me like that... but i also don't want you to remember me like this! you might think i'm conceited... but that's so untrue! can't you see how much of a liar i am? i'm really so insecure... i'm only covering it up... but i want to change! for you... because of you... because i love you... but now you're moving on... and there's no way for me to prove it... but i'm taking this first step, and i'm hoping you'll see it, and recognize me again! please... i know i'm an idiot... i always thought you'd be there.... and i thought you might wait for me to forgive myself so i could move on and be with you. But i was stupid. i was beyond stupid. and i was wrong. but now, without you, everything's worse! i don't want things to change... i don't want to lose you... don't you see there's things i'm afraid of too?! don't you see that losing you was one of them? can't you see how scared i am? i know your wall isn't that dense and i know i'm not that good of an actor... but i know for sure that you aren't blind. but maybe, from this distance, you really can't see...? maybe, if you came closer again, the red marks would show better? or the scars might stand out more? maybe the tears might even soak your shirt. i know that is something we share, you told me so. and i know we share this love too! or at least... we did...
i know it's too late. i know it's over-do.. i know there's nothing i can do... and i know you may not want to.... but.....
Please Forgive Me.
Your-Angel-Eien · Tue Aug 25, 2009 @ 05:28am · 0 Comments |