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today i let it loose.i cried n cried.It was just a song that i heard and it made me cry so hard.I havent cried this much since she left.I know its not really my fault i just wish i could of said good bye.
Lately i have been having memory flashbacks of my life.It sucks.The place i hate so much is the place i wanna be right now.I hadnt missed them till now.Idk wut it is but i just wanna go.I know i still have things here to do and thats wuts keeping me here.If it wasnt for love i'd a left the day after he left me.
Just like it happened to her it happened to me.We were left to curl up in a ball on the floor to cry.It was hard but we did it.We're ganna have a baby.Im so excited about it.I really am.Ganna spoil her so much.Ganna bring her up to not take crap from anyone. She needs me and i cant be there to show her that its ganna be ok and comfort her.It hurts.it really does.
There is a war going on inside my body.I wish i could have both but im ganna have to choose.Like i said b4, 4 out of 5 times i'll pick him.The last time im asked to choose she will always win.Cuz thats the kind of friend i am.I do anything i am asked to do.Cuz i care n love them all.To disappoint them would tear me apart.
I am ish with a guy now.He is really sweet n funny.Makes me laugh.When i was down he showed me that i can smile again and mean it.I wish i could show him just how much i am thankful of him n show him that i really do love n care about him.I guess its just me.I could meet u once and i care n will do anything for ya.
I love him to death but i dont think he loves me as much as i love him.I will do anything he asks me to do.There are somethings he wont ask me to do but i wish he would ask me.Its too soon for anything but i just know.Taking this one at a pace.Im always on the run n with him he is relaxed and mellow.I can be myself,the me that i wanna be.The me i am,wut i have changed into.He fits right in.
Im sorry i cant be everything you want but i will do my best to give you everything and anything you want.I do it because i love and care about you.So if u ever start to think i dont, just remember that if i didnt love or care i wouldnt do it.
emo Toy Soldiers...