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Oh how I’ve changed…
In just a single year!
It’s incredible how…
I’m not even the same person.

The friends you have…
The choices you make…
It all affects you…
For better or worse.

A year ago…
I was too shy to raise my voice
Past my usual barely audible tone.
Now I aggressively face any challengers.

I have many friends responsible for that…
But only a few can take the blame for the main change.
I used to be homophobic, panicking at the sight of blood.
Now I let it flow freely, admiring its red beauty as it slides over my skin.

I used to do anything to avoid pain…
My asthma, love for running, and depression changed that.
My asthma gave me constant pain, as I grew accustomed to it.
My running left me sore and often triggered my asthma.

My depression… My depression…
My sorrow… My misery…
My hurt… My emotional bleeding…
I do anything to relieve the pain.

I hurt myself physically…
It lessens my emotions.
Let blood flow freely…
To match what’s on the inside.

The sight of my own blood calms me…
I once caught a smile creeping across
My bloodthirsty lips.
This isn’t wrong… Is it?

It won’t escalate to suicide…
I’m more against that than anyone else.
So what’s wrong with a simple solution…
Just to relieve suffering?

I change…
And the world changes around me.
Everything around me changes…
From my friends and family to my church.

Nothing stays the same…
“Change is good,” people tell me.
But all the same…
I wish the world would’ve stayed how it was before…

*Just a little note: I don't cut. I just meant that I don't care when I'm bleeding.