i guess it is time to update it has been over a month.. but i really have nothing to say because anything i say or do might let you know who i truely am or what i think.. and i can't let anyone but a very few people know that .. all i can say is i don't care what happens to me .. as long as the people i care about are happy..
i guess i am just going to update this entry because i don't feel like making a new one.. anyway it is december 15th and i am staring at the xmas tree as it is lit up and the xmas village my mother puts up and .. i don't feel anything.. no xmas spirit.. no excitement.. i can really say i only have one gift i look forward to giving but i am not even giving it on xmas.. *sighs* .. i have xmas presents sitting on the floor and the wrapping paper laying next to it.. i don't want to.. i have no room.. but .. if i don't.. then i let people down.. so.. i guess this xmas.. it is more about doing it because i have to .. not because of any holiday spirit..
Melena Rai Community Member 
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