... so my best friend decides he wants to kill himself.. and i know he is serious which is what scares me.. but what he doesn't realize is how much most of the time he is what keeps me sane and happy .. he isnt' even gone yet and i was driving home and i heard "have i told you lately that i love you" from rod stewart.. normally it is just another mushy love song.. but this time.. i started thinking about my best friend and how much i love just the person he is and how he can make me feel happy even when it is the most horrible day ever.. and i just busted down crying in my car... i know if he truely leaves .. my depression with consume me.. no what he thinks about how he can't just deal with his life.. it isn't just his life anymore.. to me and i know at least one other whose life would be crushed into .. nothingness... ... we can't stop him.. we can't force him to stay alive.. and it kills us slowly from the inside ... somedays you just don't wish like ever waking up again...
~ so i guess i am updating not even an hour later.. i can't stop the tears.. no matter what song.. no matter what thought.. it just makes me break down.. .. where is that 18 wheeler when you need it now..
Melena Rai Community Member 
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Community Member