SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!
Story 1: Kidneys
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Story 1: Kidneys
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Once upon a time there was a country of morbidly obese farmers and they lived in unity with the magic unicorns and pixies of their native land. One day one farmer woke up and found a nazi zombie stealing all his crops. "EH GIT BACK HEER YOU GAI! " but the zombzi was too fast for him. He goes into town to speak to the mayor about his outrageous dilemma. Only to find out the Town hall was flooded by morbidly obese farmer folk. "WHUT'S GOIN ON HEER?" He bellowed, "THERE WAS SOME ZOMBIE THAT LOOKED LIKE SUM SORTA NAZI THAT STOLDED MAH FOOD 'EN SUCH!" A portly women yelled to him.
He asked many people but the answer was still the same. Although the mayor was no where to be found. *KERSLAM* "YOU GUYS WON'T BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED!" He yelled, "A nazi zombie stole your food?" one asked, "NO I TOOK THE BIGGEST DUMP! razz " he yellowed loudly. "Wait what did you say?" He asked, "A horde of nazi zombies stole our crops." another said then farted loudly.
"Well let's go get them!" the mayor yelled. As the farm folk were rioting and readying thier torches 'n pitchforks the unicorns were looking for food, but since all the crops were stolen the land was barren. They were starving like the children in Zimbabwe and other poor countries in Africa I can't care enough to name. "THERE THEY ARE!" a roly poly farmer belched. The Zombzie (PLURALZ STOOPID) were all on their yellow mechanical moose and flying away to Uranus."THEY GOT AWAY!" they all screamed maliciously.
Then all the unicorns had came to them begging for food. all the farmers not noticing yelled "WHAT WILL WE DO FOR FOOD?". Then out of nowhere a very anorexic hooker flew on her rainbow snapped off one of the unicorns horns and stuck it in her mouth, She then threw up continuously. Then she flew away on her rainbow back to "smack-a-ho-land"
A fat farmer whispered to another, then that one whispered to another and another and then another until it spread throughout the giant mass of lard you would call a community. "GET THE UNICORNS!" they all shouted, one after another rotund people were killing the unicorns by any means necessary. Until they all died. "UNICORNS FOR DINNER! w00T!" they yelled. They all started a tribal fire took out the kidneys of every unicorns and ate them raw while singing free credit report dot com jingles.
There was blood everywhere while the farmers feasted upon kidneys and used all the blood for beverages, and they all lived happily ever after until Morgan freeman grew to gigantic proportions and used his laser eyes to kill them all.
THE END