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My mindset
Current mood: ashamed
Category: Life

It cant be my fault really, I may have said somethings that would make others have a second opinion bout me. But unnfortunely you were talking to a drunken idiot, I wawsnt myself but in the event none of my words were lies. All that i said was truth it was how my heart felt, its how I feel all the time and im blown off as if im nothing. I have feelings for you and my life continues to push me even more into hell sooner than i expexpted it to. Now whats ******** up is that I can have a bum leg, and a bad relationship record, be stuck with a phychological problem, and the mindset of a crazy hopeless romantic. I still believe in "shivelry" if that how you spell it, but I open doors for females I do things without being told to, I spend my hard earned money on others before myself. I bought a girl i never even meet a car, I know it sounds stupid but I cared about her in a way that I have felt over and over and over again. What is it with me and money.

IF I have money, which i always do, and im around a female, Which I never am unless I choose to, I will offer my money as a token of my apprecitation everytime. Not like "hey ill help you buy this" or "I got you on gas," But as in "hey I got a few hundred dollars Wanna go to a resturant, want to go watch every movie you wanted to see and never got to. Happy birthday I know you told me not to get you anything but just like these diamonds my love is forever." I am not a bad guy until i do something nice for someone and now all of a sudden im trying to get at her, ~Now I know how you feel cuz~, but back to status quo.Im a good person, and the good things I do are ways of getting back at myself for doing bad things in my life. Now im not really punishing myself by buying people stuff or putting them first before myself or making my life seem misserable. Unfortunely that last one is true, because I am making it misserabe. But I was dealt a bad ******** hand that Im gonna be stuck with for about the rest of my life, but thats not enough. If the image of happiness or joy, or some type of mental stability its a face I put on for you. because its better than the alternitive. I smile for you and only you. I was told to look to the future and think about the present and leave my past where it should back in the past. But its my past that has shaped me, Impossible is nothin, your enviorment is illrelavent, you dont let your emotions over power your intelligence, I never refuse to give up and my misstakes dont define me they dont dictate where im heading they remind me that if i try hard enough I can give alot for your little.

No one should give something for nothing. but I give to you diamonds, I give you hope, I give you love, I give you a dream, a fairy tale, that has a happy ending. But unlike those who were before me I can make it all come true. And I have proven this over and over, with better results with every tale that comes true. You know damn well that in my mind I will love you the way you want to be loved the way you need to be loved, the way an Evans loves. Thinkin that there isnt someone who actually loves you, when im right here, when I have shown you and others my heart, in pieces. You had some trouble with yourself, I was there to help you when you needed it but your heart belonged to someone else. I look for the one person who will bring me true happiness, I thought it was you, I know its you, I can see thats its you. I will always be there for you. No matter what others may say, I will always be there to catch you everytime you fall. ~~"" You want to step on my face Sure go right ahead. But could you smile for me.""~~