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Ugh! You know what, I'm a getting just a little tired of my friend's family! They're ruining her effing life! She's always depressed or mad because someone in her messed up family decides to take out whatever frustration they have on her! I'm getting so tired of it! She deserves way better than this! And I can tell it hurts her so much. It hurts her so much and when I see that it hurts me. I just want to ******** scream right now, but the neighbors may call the cops if I do. That would be a hell of a thing for my parents to come home to.
I just want to cry right now, and I did for a bit, but I've decided this is a better way to vent. This or talk to one of my dogs or my cat.
It really hurts that I've waited all day for my friend to get on the computer so I can talk to her cause we live in two different states. All effing day! And when she finally gets on she tells me she can't talk! Ugh! It really pisses me off! But she pissed off just as much as her family did by doing that! Why the hell, hun, do you get on just so that you can tell me you can't talk! What the hell messed up plan is that!?
Honey, you know I love you, but if you can't talk then please, don't get on until you can! You get me all excited to talk to you and then you effing can't! Is that some sort of messed up idea you think is fun? Do you get a kick out of it? Knowing that I want to talk to you and I'm excited to and then you take that away from me. Do you do that so that you're not the only one depressed? Is that it!? I love you, I really do, but, like I said earlier, don't get on unless you're actually going to talk to me!
Well now that that's done! I found out, quite a while ago, that my poor baby! [not really] has cancer! I all but bawled at that! It had started as a small bump in her stomach and I knew, I just [********] knew, that it was bad! My mom tried to reassure me that it wasn't anything, but that was a lie. My beautiful baby girl has ********, stupid, messed up, retarded cancer! The vet says that anything could happen. She could die in 6 months or not nothing at all will happen before she dies, the only thing we can do is give her love and care for her until she does die. But right now, I'm effing crying because I can tell, I can see it in my baby, she's scared. She doesn't know why she can't control herself. My baby will just be laying there by the couch and then she'll suddenly started to jerk and have a small spasm. They don't last for more than a few seconds, but it hurts me so much to see her like that. She can't control it and she knows that and she's scared because she can't control what her body is doing.
I'm so pissed off at the world right now. My best friend in the entire world has a messed up life and there's nothing I can ******** do about it and my baby has effing cancer! I have a messed up disease too that has no cure [diabetes], my sister's most recent boyfriend, the one she had been going out with for 2 ******** years!, 2 wasted ******** years!, had been cheating on her! With a lot of different woman! Some older, some even younger! And I know, because I keep reminding my friend this, that other people have worse lives than us, but it still sucks!
I want to take my anger out on something and the only thing that would give me the most satisfaction is too effing far away! All the way in another state! But God, what I would give just to suddenly pop up there, beat the living s**t out of my friends' family and bring her back with me, to care and protect! I just want to shield her away from the world right now because... I'm afraid that I'm going to lose her. And it scares me. It scares me a lot.
 angels_dance · Sat Jun 28, 2008 @ 02:38am · 0 Comments |
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