I'm no longer there. There is no more Natalia Coles that you once knew. I've changed into something depper, darker, and a lot more mysterious. I'm more Harry Potter than emos and a lot more dark than goths. I'm quiet, silent, and mysterious. No one understands me or anythig about me. I'm in the dark age where there is no light. I'm nothing, just here to be here. You will never know all the true dark secrets behind me and my life. Trust me, I do hold a lot of secrets. I want to do it again. I want to go cute my self and see if the pain is strong enough for me to feel. Is this me or is it just my teen years talking? I don't noww. I want to cry, but the only person who is allowed to see me cry is Mr. Pinky. He's the bunny I got when I was five or six. I look in the worls and all I see are people who will never know. They never feel what I feel or know what I know. I'm still searcing for that missing piece in my life, and it looks that I'm as bout as close to finding it as I was when I was young and never felt there was a missing pice in my life. I'm being sheltered from something that I never wanted so bad before. Pain and real live. I wish they would stop protecting me from it cause when I go into the real word, I won't be ready for it. I now that's true and that's the only thing about me that I know is true. I'm hideous. I look in the mirror and I don't see me, but something dark and twisted. I feel so demonic. I may smile every once in a while, but I will never truly feel happiness. I may cry every once ina while, but I will never truly feel sadness. I may scream every once ina while, but I will never truly fel anger. I will never truly feel anything because I am not there. I will smile and take my tea, but I will never ruly be there paying attention . I'm gone forever and nothing can bring me back. Good bye from now until forever.
Digging my grave so lie down in and die,
Midnight Magdeline
 Midnight Magdeline · Sun May 18, 2008 @ 09:59pm · 0 Comments |
