|
I Swear.. Men Will Go Hard To Play Women............ |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, not to long ago, me and some other person got played like extra hard. This is why now, I don't love people who I already know. You tell me you like me, too bad. I dont' love you if I already don't know you. When I grow up, I swear I'll be the queen of broken hearts. Boys lie, I'll make them cry. But right now, my feelingsare hurt. There's a lump in my throat which I know is form holding everthing I wanna say to some people back, but I try to understand. My feelings are hurt, I'm pissed off, and I'm wanting to just pass out, wake up in the hospital, then two seconds later, have my vitals drop. I wanna cry, scream, , commite suicide, an love all at one time. But I don't love anymore cause the one person that I did love in that special friend type of way, killed me. Not literally cause I probally wouldn't be sitting here, but mentally. The part of me that loves someone has shut down. Now there's nothing stopping me form doing everything I said that I would do. Running away, suicide, all that....... I just .......... I don't know. Somehow, someway, I'm stopping myself from laying on the floor and crying my hurting heart out. Sister Helen said there was something healing about tears, I thinkshe was right. They've helped me through a lot of things. Right now, I feel like the whole world has there back against me. Everyone has a problem with something that I do. I'm too weird I'm too loud, I talk weird, I cry to much, I'm a comulsive liar, I'm too this, I'm too that. I'm too everything. It's like the harder I try, the more wrong my right become. Then there's just this one person, I'm not gonna say here name, but she's being so evil over nothing. She was willing to let a guy ruin our supposed friendship, so I let her. Moma said since she want to do that, then you be the bigger person and say your sorry. I did, but this person hold grudges. Now, I see that me and this person are better being apart. She says she never felt better, so.........I guess I'm happy for her. About the supposed friendship thing, really true. She said something that tore my whole wolrdapart and made me sit in this chair and cry: I was only your friend cause I felt sorry for you.... Not like I never heard that before, but I thought she was the only persone to auctually like me for me and not cuase she thought I needed a friend. I mean that was nice, but still so hurtful. Ohhhh goodness, someone must have turned on the faucet cause here comes the water works. This person told me all kinds of things about myself, that I was pretty(she was lying), how smart I was(she was lying), how she thought I could sing(she was lying), and how she wished she was like me(again she was lying). I just wish people would stop that. It makes me feel a lot better having you tell me what's really on your mind, instead of you pretending, and then having me find out when I'm most vunerable. That's just what I am right now.........vunerable. The littlest thing could make me cry, angry, hurt, mad, or wanna snatch all that weave out your head. Bye.
[img:2495260bdd]http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e174/mhanna0406/rainbows-3.jpg[/img:2495260bdd][img:2495260bdd]http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm312/Toni_cute888/Rainbows.jpg[/img:2495260bdd]
 Midnight Magdeline · Sun Feb 24, 2008 @ 09:19pm · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
