i'll never let this go but i can't find the words to tell you
i don't want to be alone but now i feel that i don't know you
please dont get me wrong
i don't know what to say. everything is summed up with those words from paramore. but i don't want anyone to get me wrong. especially him...
everything is just so twisted right now. and i'm in the middle of paranoia.
i can't seem to find the mood to do anything right now. let along tell a story. everything that comes out of me is tears. maybe you could try taking out my insides and you'll find that everything's soft and ... i don't know. you'll find blood perhaps. as opposed to avril lavigne. because blood is under my skin before my bones. duh!
so i'm blabbing... again. i can't help it. i want to release so many things. i need an emancipation from reality. from everything and anyone that hurt me. but sadly, we can't have everything that we want. i'm not even sure if i can have him. everything is just drifting off.
but what i'm trying to let the whole world know for the last couple of days is that you can't box anything that is so real, so huge for the mind to grasp. especially emotions. that's why we cry. to let go of things that if locked inside would mean the death for us. it comes so naturally so why is it wrong to suppress such a wonderful thing such as tears?
well, i can name a few good reasons. first off is pride. yes, pride. one of my ...
hahahaha!!!! mr brightside suddenly played in the headphone and i don't know why. i'm supposed to be listening to flyleaf. i searched frantically where it came from but i can't find any window that has anything to do with my brightside or the killers. hahahaha. maybe it's just trying to cheer me up even though i'm not really in the mood to be a ms. brightside. hahaha.
so, the topic is changed and i don't feel much better! i'll smile just for now.
i watched naruto shipuuden for the last couple of days and it is a really good anime. it should be placed int the ranks of sailor moon, dragon ball z, and all the other animes that were too good to be true. Ü
i remember sai as he says that "the easiest way out of a difficult situation is a smile, even if it's only fake."
somehow he's right. i can cite other anime characters with the same philosophy. there is cho hakkai, one of my childhood crushes, from the series Saiyuki. after his wife gets raped bu demons he has evolved a concept of hypocrisy and he always smiles. even if he's really hurting. then there's also the famous ex-battousai, himura kenshin-san. kakkoii! hahaha! no, seriously. if you'd watch the OVA of rurouni kenshin, you'd know that he's not like the normal kenshin in the series. there's more under his trademark "oro". there is always something beneath...
well then. i'm not really happy today. but i'm not sad. and that's the reason why i want to cry. i remember a short story i read may times. the title is Seeds. i want to be a dead leaf. i want to be blown over the limitless waters and be made clean. i wanted more than anything else to be clean...
kagami-kun Community Member 
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