|
When taking a picture, do people trick you? I mean I’m sitting there smiling at the camera and someone says “Cheese!” and I say “Cheese? Where?” and I look to find know cheese and I am not looking at the camera so the picture isn’t great (sometimes I knock people over). It happens all the time. One day I actually figured out the trick and I wouldn’t look when they said “Cheese”, but we were at Pizza Hut and everyone said “Pizza!” so I looked at the pizza and the picture got messed up again…Then we were at Disneyland and everyone said “Mickey!” so I looked for Mickey and the same thing happened. It’s not fair! How dare they trick me! What is with this evil cheese! I like cheese…Do you think the moon is made of cheese? If I ever get to the moon, I’ll be the first to taste it. The only problem is…I might die…but if I die, it will be for the sake of science…and cheese. Speaking of cheese, why is blue cheese blue? Is it some sort of mutation? Maybe it’s just like that because it’s sad. I’d be pretty sad if I was cheese and a fat little critter ate me. Ha ha ha ha…Ahem, I mean, I like cheese! Did I already say that? Déjà vu! What is Déjà vu? Why is it called “Déjà vu”? Is it just some trick of the mind or maybe it’s a glitch in the program that runs this world like they say in the Matrix…Is there a Matrix? Maybe it’s that whole Spirit Entity thing…Which makes me think…Do aliens really exist? I mean, there are crop circles! Crop circles seem too advanced and too detailed to have been created by man in such time. Or maybe they are made by cows rolling around in the cornfield that just coincidentally make a pattern. Or maybe they are very artistic cows who can only explain their feelings through the art of crop circles. Maybe cows are aliens…ALIENS! I don’t really like cows…Oh no! Without cows, there won’t be cheese! Wait, goats make cheese…Goats are stupid…They make this ‘bah bah’ sound and eat paper and fart and smell like poo…Donkey’s smell like poo. Do you like donkeys? I don’t like donkeys. Donkey’s like to poo. Why am I even talking about poo…I guess I’m getting too nasty for you. Way too nasty for you, but I’m pretty sure you’d understand the concept of domestic animal feces. I mean…nevermind. What does that mean, “Nevermind”? I mean, if you never have a mind you’d be like…stupid…and this rant would make sense. This rant does make sense doesn’t it? If this were stupid, this rant would be like: Duh duh duh duh doo duh duh duh dum da duh duh duh duh duduh diddly doo dad um dad dad duh dally doo! And you wouldn’t want that now would you? Why do people even say “Duh”? What does it mean? People say it as a stupid phrase, but maybe in ancient times it was more complex. Like in caveman days! They must have said stuff like: Oog! Ugga ug! Oog! Oog oog! Duh! And “Duh” probably meant something like Deoxyribonucleic acid or Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. That’s a real word…and I have no idea what it means. Maybe I should just go play a video game or something. I like video games. I wanted to play F.E.A.R., but it’s too scary at night…alone…in the dark…F.E.A.R. stands for First Encounter Assault Recon. They were originally going to call it First Assault Recon Team, but the acronym just wouldn’t work…Oh well, I’ll go play a different game…
|
