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so... tuesday night andrew called me and turns out that he spent the night at logans and logan kept all the notes i wrote him and andrew read them. all of them. but i cant believe he kept them! wTF? anrew says theyre in a box in his room and that he says he;lll burn them someday... but thats exactly what i do! i dont know whats worse, people telling me that he still has my pictures up or tht he kept all the notes...

which promped me to gently put the phone down and scream into my pillow for 5 minutes.

A: what the hell? .... you still like him.

N: no i dont!

then i explaned to him why i didnt and it's cuz
- he never liked me
-he lied to me the entire time
- he cheated on me 4 times
- but he LIED to me! and everytime id bring up him cheating on me he'd put on a sad face and go 'no, nicole, id never do that to you, i love you too much... and it hURTS that youd think that!'
- he ******** fingered elizabeth when he was still going out with me
- he LIED TO ME!!!

*silence from andrew*
A:........... do you know who he cheated on you with?

N: oh, why yes i do! elizabeth, some girl from fowler, (her name's laurie)-

A: alright, i get it. but despite that.... i bet ull never forget him...

and get this, i started cryiing! like big huge baby sobs just like when logan broke up with me.

A: you still like him.

N: no i dont! hes an a*****e and once in my life i thought somebody loved me for who i was!

A: that hurts

N: and everybody KNEW he ws cheating on me but i believed him over my best friends! and after a while they all just gave up because they knew i wouldnt believe them.

*silence from andrew*

A: youre not over him

N: yes i am! i am so over him! i clawed my way to this point for 4 months and im nOT GOING BACK.

A: youre not over him

N: YES I AM! im just not over me being so ******** stupid back then! you dont understand, andrew! when he broke up with me, a piece of my soul died! im empty inside and all the emotion i may show im just FAKING IT.




im so glad its summer though... yu didnt know what it ws like going to school everyday and seeing him with elizabeth.