Ah yes...I've finally decided to break away from the normal writing and posting some of my original works in my journal. As most of my friends know, I'm a talented writer (although I want to be a doctor). But don't worry!! I'll still be writing about my wonderful adventures in high school, summer, the works!! Trust me...I'm FAR from over.
The series is a collection of letters that are written to people in my life. They are letters that come from the heart and tell everything that I've never been able to voice in reality. For now, I hope they entertain you just a little. The first letter was a part of another entry... A sad break-up one... Well, the rest aren't much better but have fun reading!!
And leave some nice comments and suggestions. I'm open to more topics. You now, like if you want me to write one to an ex-bf or a troublesome mother...
Dear You,
Hey you. Remember that summer we sat at the edge of the pier, looking out at the sunset and I asked you if we'd be friends forever? I do. You said, "Of course, silly. Always!"
Did you mean to lie to me? Did you really mean that or was that a sad attempt to distract me from the truth? You even told me once that you didn't believe in "forever" and "always". So why didn't I realize your lies when you said that? Why didn't I see past that smile, past the deceit?
Nothing in this world's fair, is it? We've always known it but weren't we always there for each other. Didn't we always have each others' backs? I was one you called when you found out your parents were divorcing. I was the one who ran across the playground to get a teacher when you cut your knee on the playground fence. I was the one that came over with a book to read to you when you were sick and you could come outside.
And you, I remember, were the same way. Don't think I forgot about the things you did for me. Cuz I didn't. When my dog ran away, you were the one who came over with six packages of poster paper so we could make "LOST" posters. When I got my heart broken, you were th one who pushed Shawn off the monkey bars and stuck sand down his pants. When I got in trouble, you were the one who called my parents to explain what happened.
We stuck by each other and that was our defense in the world. In a way, you and I needed each other. Not because we didn't know how to be alone because we did. But it was we needed to feel needed. We needed to feel like there was something in this world that couldn't survive with us. In reality, we didn't need each other in the beginning but we grew to, didn't we?
Or maybe it was just me. Maybe it was just a silly fantasy of mine to have a best friend. Maybe I would've been better off as a loner without anyone to hurt me. Because when no one gets close to you, no one can really hurt you, can they?
And now, after all of that, the drama and the fear and the sadness...we're splitting up. Your new friends don't like me, I know. And my new friends don't like you either. And...HIM, the apple of our eyes, can't be shared. Friends can share everything...but not that. Never that.
I should've known a guy would be our demise. But I have to admit he's amazing. Kind, funny, sensitive, thoughtful...everything you and I ever dreamed of in a guy. But there's only one of him and there's only so much that friends can share. I know you want him... You were willing to sacrifice our friendship over him. But is he worth it?
Tell me, old friend. Do you think he'll be "forever"? Do you think that he even feelings the same way? I've seen the way he looks at you. It's not love...not even friendship. INDIFFERENCE. I know it, everone does. But you too stubborn to take back your mistakes...and me?
I'm tired of fixing them.
I've always had to deal with your mistakes, your faults, your slip-ups. There's only so much that I can fix. I know that you know. The truth is...there's only so much. There's always a limit. I wish you'd understand. All those lies I told to cover up for you, all the things I've sacrificed for your happiness, all the tears and trouble I caused to defend something that I knew was wrong...I'm getting tired. And I don't need sleep.
It's over. Everything we had has come crashing down around us. It's not like I haven't expected it. You've been cold, somehow, and distant. Our eyes don't meet when we speak, our lips don't smile as genuinely. It's like we let go...and in a way, we did. We let go of all the things that made us..."us".
Maybe it was for the best...or maybe not. We'll never know now. We're not friends and it'll be a while before we can be. But I know one thing...I'm happy for you. You've found more friends, people who cared as much as I once did...as I still do. I know that I have new friends that are the same.
And even if we've lost everything we built up, deep down we're still the same little girls that ate ice cream on the porch, waiting for the sun to go down. We're the samw girls who tied for first place in the sack races and played jump rope on our front lawns. And if you need, I'll be there...anytime, any place, anywhere.
You'll always be my best friend...
Sincerely,
ME
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